Are you looking for signs he loves you? Unsure of where to start?
Unless you are some type of superhero or one of those TV psychics I keep seeing on late-night TV infomercials… you are NOT a mind reader, are you? Okay. Didn’t think so.
So if you can’t take a peek inside the head of the guy that you like, then how will you know if he really loves you if he doesn’t come out and say it? It’s enough to make you want to beat your head against the wall.
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Let me just tell you: guys aren’t always open about their feelings. Your man very well may love you, but be nervous about telling you. And you’re left wondering.
But even if he isn’t ready to ‘fess up, there will be signs he loves you. These signs WILL be there – as clear as day. You just have to know what to look for.
(Spoiler alert: the signs he loves you have nothing to do with him buying you things or treating you like a Disney Princess.)
In this week’s video I’m going to reveal five signs he loves you so you can once and for all decode this mysterious man. You’re not going to want to miss this one.
Let’s face it: movies, TV, and Michael Bolton love songs have sold you on a very one-dimensional idea of what a man will do when he’s in love.
He’ll jog in slow motion across a field of flowers to get to you.
He’ll ride on a horse, his shirt unbuttoned, across the beach for your love.
He’ll give you roses and write you love songs.
[Cue the record scratch.]
Allow me to put a pin in your balloon of fantasy. It turns out, love can be very different than what we see in Hollywood movies.
Once you’ve woken up next to the man of your dreams and seen the slobber trail leading to his pillow, you realize that pop culture has lied to you.
But that’s okay. We’re going to take a real look at the signs he loves you…and there may be no roses or poetry involved.
PS: Want to learn how to make ANY man more interested, engaged, and attracted to you… all by using your phone? Use the proven techniques found in my free Love Texting Report to create instant, white-hot attraction with him… whether you’ve just met or you’ve been together for years.
Summary: Discover those Signs He Loves You
So you’ve been dating this guy for a while, and you feel fairly certain he’s falling in love with you, but you aren’t 100% sure. The last thing you want to do is profess your own feelings if he’s not actually on the same page as you.
So let’s look at those signs he loves you so that you can play detective and get to the bottom of the situation.
1. He wants you to speak your mind freely, but will also challenge you when he disagrees.
You: Hey babe, I’m going to shave my head and get a forehead tattoo.
Him: Um…okay dear.
I personally believe you shouldn’t be with someone who’s not going to challenge you. Your partner should be willing to put you in your place if you’re saying things that are a little bit ridiculous, and be honest with you if you’re making a bad call.
I would never want to be with a woman who doesn’t question me and my behavior, who was afraid to disagree with me. I like it when my girlfriend tells me I’m being dumb. Like the time she didn’t let me leave the house wearing the sequin silver pants I was sure I looked good in.
I’m sure you don’t want to be with a yes man. You don’t want to be with a man who agrees with everything you say, and who lets you make bad decisions. You want to be with someone who is going to give you a new perspective, and who will give you gentle constructive criticism when you need it.
You: Hey babe, I’m going to shave my head and get a forehead tattoo.
Him: I think that’s the worst idea since cronuts.
At the same time, you want a man who encourages you to speak your mind. He in no way wants to change your sparkling personality. He likes it when you’re brazen, cuss like a sailor, or give your opinion.
It’s a fine line this guy has to walk between letting you be yourself and not letting you fall. But one of the signs he loves you is that while he embraces your eclectic personality, he’s also not willing to let you make mistakes without calling you out on them.
2. He may give signs he loves you through his actions, not words.
Don’t assume that because your man hasn’t yet come out with the words I love you that he isn’t in love with you.
Back in 2009, Dr. Gary Chapman introduced the world to the concept of love languages in his bestselling book, The Five Love Languages. It’s a scientific fact: each of us communicates love in a different manner.
Some people use words of affirmation to actually say I love you to a mate. Note: this can also include other ways of affirming love, like giving you a compliment or being supportive during a conversation.
But what if words of affirmation aren’t your fella’s love language? He might not have said he loves you out loud, but maybe he performs acts of service like doing the dishes when you weren’t expecting it or sending you a cute text in the morning.
He might give you gifts, and that might be one of the signs that he loves you. Or he might give you lots of physical affection or spend quality time with you. Each of these is a different form of communication, so pay attention. Declarations of love don’t always come wrapped up in three little words.
If he’s putting energy into making you happy, whatever the channel, this could be one of the quiet signs he loves you.
3. He will treat you like a best friend. And like any best friend, he’ll tease the living sh*t out of you.
Right now, I want you to think about how your best friend, past or present, treats or treated you. Likely they trust you with their secrets, are loyal and supportive, and might poke a little fun at you from time to time.
There’s no better formula for a love partnership. You want a best friend to move forward with. You want someone who’s going to be there for you, and who you can really connect with.
In fact, a recent poll showed that 88% of married couples consider their partner to be their best friend. Clearly it works.
But wait! There’s more.
Because you’re so close to your best friend, he won’t be afraid to have a little fun with you. He may tease you, play practical jokes on you (a cold cup of water dumped on you while in the shower will always be more funny to him than you), and have plenty of laughs.
If your guy is stepping outside of Fantasyland and moving into a reality where he’s comfortable enough with you to tease you mercilessly, this is a good thing!
Again, movies do us a disservice, especially Disney movies. Never do you see Prince Charming poking fun at Cinderella. Prince Eric would never feed Ariel fish and tell her it was vegan food.
No, of course not. It’s all about a false idea of romance in these movies. But real romance involves a balance of trust, spending time together, and yes, making fun of one another from time to time.
When you think about your guy, do you see him as your best friend? Does he make you happy as well as frustrate you with his silly antics? Congratulations. He’s comfortable enough with you to be authentic. And that’s one of the great signs he loves you.
He listens to your needs…but he’s not a pushover.
You: Baby, please take out the trash.
Him: Sure thing, honey.
You: Sweetie, buy me this necklace.
Him: Okay, I will.
You: Darling, I want a 6-bedroom house.
Him: Er…that’s going to be hard to pull off on my salary…
You: Lovey dovey, let’s quit our jobs and move to a tropical island.
Him: ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
Look, lady. Veruca Salt discovered in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory that it is impossible to have the whole world…right now.
Your guy wants to give you the things that really matter to you…within reason.
At the end of the day, he’s not always going to give you everything you want. It’s not always possible.. and that’s life.
He may even have started your relationship out by spoiling you, and now you’ve come to expect that you can get everything you want. But it’s actually a good thing if he starts pushing back against your unrealistic desires. It means he’s comfortable enough with you to know his limits.
And you know the kind of guy who’s secure enough to do that with you?
Do your part, though: it is important to reset your expectations about what love really looks like. It’s unreasonable for you to expect him to meet any and every demand you come up with. Remember: love is a compromise, so don’t let yours be so one-sided.
5. While he wants to spend the majority of his leisure time with you, he also likes to spend some time away from you.
In the early days of your relationship, you and your beau spent days together without coming up for air. You were in your own wonderful love bubble. But as time has gone on, he seems to want to spend less time with you.
Before you freak out: know that this is one of the signs that he is in love with you.
It’s not that he likes you less…he might like you (or love you) more, in fact. But spending time apart — whether he’s with his buddies or chilling at his house alone — can make for a stronger and more secure relationship.
You could also benefit from spending time apart from your boyfriend. Take a night off from your love fest to reconnect with girlfriends you haven’t seen as much since you started dating this guy, or treat yourself to a special spa day. Taking a night or two off every week will help you maintain your independence and give you plenty to talk about when you see him again.
If he’s telling you he wants to hang out with his friends or be on his own, reassure him that you’re okay with that. He needs to know that you aren’t clinging to him and that you understand the value of time apart. That will move you two one step closer to a solid and long-lasting relationship.
I know it might seem like your man is an enigma.
He loves me!
He loves me not!
Just realize that each of us has our own ways of expressing our feelings. And as we know, men and women have their own unique methods of doing so. Science shows that men don’t rate the importance of emotions as highly as women do.
So understand that, from the start, knowing that he loves you is on your mind way more than it is his. He might have determined that he loves you months ago, accepted it, then moved on. Loving you is just part of his day…even if he hasn’t said it.
And why hasn’t he said it yet, then?
There are so many reasons why, despite all the signs he loves you being there, he might hesitate before saying I love you. He might want to make absolutely certain before he makes such an important declaration. He might have been burned in the past and want to take things extra slow. He may be worried about being vulnerable.
But no matter what is or isn’t coming out of his mouth, pay attention to his behaviors, because those are the true tells of what he’s feeling. A man who loves you is more at ease with you and comfortable being himself than a man who just likes you. He supports you but is also not willing to let you get away with murder.
In sum, he’s exactly the type of man you wanted to attract. So be patient! Those words will come. For now, be happy knowing that he’s showing his love in creative ways.
Want to understand the male mind even better? Download the Male Mind Map.