The New Year is upon us and with it, new dreams, new hopes and new dates. It’s a fresh start with a fresh batch of Tinder matches.
It’s the “new you” with a new outlook and blank slate. Everything before was practice, mistake and ancient history. You no longer need to hold on to the sting of old loves and bad first dates—you’re on zero again.
With a clean slate, you’re heading into a new arena. But what exactly is that arena? What’s it really going to be like to date in 2016?
If it’s anything like 2015, it’s going to be the same people with the same ideas about what constitutes “dating.” It’s going to be the same ridiculous notion that a text replaces a conversation and a drunken night at the bar makes for a great date. It’s going to be misplaced emojis and double taps on Instagram.
We’ve officially entered a new dating world where love is found on a screen and dates are made for strictly between the sheets. Knowing all this, you better prepare.
We won’t go on dates, just sex with food on the side
Eating out is now eating in. Dates are rare and if we do meet up with each other, Netflix and chill is a suitable alternative. Gone are the days of fancy dinners and chance encounters. We’ve moved to sleepovers and fast f*cks, where long meals are “weird” and not sleeping together is “rare.”
We won’t say goodbye, just ghost each other
There’s no such thing as difficult goodbyes and “uncomfortable talks,” instead, there’s no talking at all. While we all hate breaking-up, at least there’s some closure to goodbye. Instead, you’ll just get an empty reply.
We won’t have feelings, just properly placed emojis
You’ll never get anything out of him except a smiley face with a tear—or maybe a broken heart. Instead of laying feelings on the line, we’re sharing emoticons across the web. We’re trying to interpret our feelings by dissecting words and images.
We won’t share stories, just timelines
Everything you’ll find out about each other will be through a screen. Any indiscretion, lie or part of him you didn’t know about will show up attached to a witty caption and some misplaced likes.
We won’t have fights, just strongly worded texts
There will be no passionate arguments followed up by even more passionate sex. You guys won’t be experiencing your first fight in the privacy of your home or a dimly lit restaurant. No, it will be in the middle of a board meeting where you have to divert the angry looks of your boss while you send him another novel about how badly he hurt you.
We won’t meet the parents, just the family albums
There’s no such thing as a blind date. There are no more surprises nor things to be discovered. We know everything about them by the time they’ve given us their number. We walk in with preconceived notions and extensive knowledge on their last relationship, last job and last updated status.
We won’t be in love, just in contact
You’ll never know his true feelings because he’s hiding them behind his screen. It’s easier to type out a version of what you want to say and it’s even easier to misread ‘K’ for “I hate you.” 2016 won’t be the year of honesty and truth, it’ll be another year of mixed signals and misread texts.
But here’s the good news: You always have the power to choose your own path to love.
You decide how men treat you, because you always have a choice to take ’em or leave ’em.
You decide what the relationship looks like, because you always have the choice to set boundaries.
And most importantly, you decide how much or little technology dominates the relationship. If it’s hindering growth, then remove the barrier and be courageous enough to have an open, real life conversation with him.
Let’s change the future of dating, one conversation at a time.