My mission in life is to help amazing women like you create their own love stories. And I’m committed to giving you advice on this blog that I’ve seen work for my dating coaching clients.
Today I’ve got something super special for you: a deep dive into dating statistics. Why? I want you to realize that your situation — whether you’re single, dating, or somewhere in between — is completely normal, and to give you some insight into what other women are experiencing as they navigate the world of dating and relationships.
Must-Know Dating Statistics
We surveyed 1,143 women about their dating experiences, and found some pretty interesting stuff:
- Commitment: The majority of women are looking for a serious relationship.
- Where: It’s still hard to know where to find great, single men.
- Frequency: Women aren’t
datingas much as you’d think.
A Word on Dating
Maybe you’re groaning right now because you’re feeling like you’re in a hamster wheel, dating guy after guy and still looking for the one that will get you off of this wheel. Or maybe you’re smiling because you’re having a blast getting to know men and going on dates at this point in your life.
Either way, here are some dating statistics to give you insight into the big world of dating.
Think everyone but you is out there going on dates? Think again. According to our research, 43% of women have been on no dates in the last three months, and 27% have only been on one or two dates.
So if you’re having a dry spell right now, you’re not alone. Don’t assume that all of the women who haven’t been on dates are sad because of that fact. Many, I suspect, are happy being single.
And even if you are going on dates, it doesn’t mean they’re going to work out: 67% of women report that all of their dates in the past three months haven’t been a good match.
It can be frustrating to go on dates that you hope will work out only to have them turn out to be duds, but the key is to keep trying. He’s out there, I promise.
First Date Fun
So now let’s talk about first dates. If you’re like many women, you know within four minutes whether or not you are into the guy. Trust your gut on this one, because it’s usually right. If it’s going to work out, you’ll feel something click, usually within minutes of meeting him (but not always!).
Stressing over whether to offer to pay for the check on a first date? You’re a modern woman, after all! An Esquire survey found that 51% of women offer to pick up the check. No word on how many men actually let them…
After a first date, do you bite your nails, waiting to hear from him? If it’s been more than 24 hours, save your nails, because there’s only a 12% chance he will call. Move on to the next guy or find something better to do with your time than waste it fretting over a man.
I know a lot of Sexy Confidence fans are on the fence about whether to start online dating. It’s really a mixed bag: I know women who have ended up marrying a man they met through a dating app…and women who complain about the dick picks and catfishing that goes on there.
In our survey, we found that only 27% of women think online dating is a good way to meet new people. The majority — 45% of women — are still unsure of the value of online dating, though they have hope that they will meet a quality man. And when it comes to whether or not dating apps are a good resource for finding true love, 68.4% of you think they’re actually making it harder to find love!
But Dr. Jess Carbino, Bumble’s in-house sociologist, says you really shouldn’t spend more than 30 minutes a day on the apps: 15 minutes in the morning and 15 in the evening.
Many women feel like online dating is a waste of time; they match with a guy who never starts a conversation, or it is a dead end when they realize they have nothing in common. You’re not the only one frustrated: only 66% of people on dating sites actually end up going on dates.
Another interesting dating statistic: young women (26-year-olds) have more online pursuers than men that age, but the older they get, the more the tables turn: 48-year-old men have twice as many people after them than women the same age.
If you’re like the majority of women on dating apps, you are looking for a nice guy, not a bad guy…or actually, you might want a bit of both. Men are looking for the modern career girl rather than the girl next door. Good information to know!
Those of you who regularly read the Sexy Confidence Blog know how big I am on communication in dating and relationships. If you’re back in the dating pool after a year (or decade!) of being in a relationship, you may not know how to navigate the intricate rules of communication in today’s tech-driven world.
Many relationships center around texting, not phone calls, which might frustrate you.
But technology can be a good thing! In our research, we discovered that 45% of our survey respondents think texting is improving their relationship. It can definitely be another channel to communicate with and get to know someone you’re dating, but just don’t rely on texting alone. Bring back those old-school phone calls!
Here’s one of those dating statistics that will make you sit up and take notice: 47% of women and 50% of men have texted nude photos. That in no way means you have to if you’re uncomfortable doing so!
If you’re 40 or older (like 64% of our survey takers), you may have been married or in one or more long relationships in the past. But what about other women? What are their stories?
Not surprisingly, many of you are divorced. Here are a few statistics about divorce you might find interesting:
- Every 13 seconds, there’s a divorce in America.
- Wives are more likely to file for divorce than husbands
. Virginia, Nebraska, and Delaware have the highest divorce rates.
- The US has the third highest divorce rate in the world.
If you’ve been divorced, does that necessarily means a second marriage will end in divorce? The odds are high, unfortunately: 60% of second marriages end in divorce.
My suggestion is to roll slow in a committed relationship after you’ve been divorced once. Remember the mistakes you made in the first marriage and work to not make them again. Don’t rush into marriage a second time!
While the average length of a marriage is eight years, the average length of a second marriage is less than that.
Check this out: while divorce rates are declining for younger people, they have doubled since the 1990s for Americans over 50. I guess it’s never too late to start over.
It turns out the experts argue about how long to wait after a divorce before dating again. Some say you need to wait one year for every five to seven years of marriage, while others say you need one month of healing for every year. What do I say? Wait until you are 1,000% healed, and realize that might take more time than you think you need.
But not everyone is divorced; 7% of American adults are widowed. And 11.3% of people over the age of 40 have never been married. The bottom line is: everyone’s got past baggage of one kind or another when it comes to dating and relationships.
Where to Meet People
I can’t go a week without a woman saying to me, “Adam, I just don’t know where to meet men!!’
I get that it’s frustrating. But you’ve got to keep trying…in the right places. Dating statistics show that only 9% of women have ever ended up in a relationship with someone they met in a bar. So clearly, a bar is not the right place to meet a man!
Where you live can impact how easy or difficult you find it to meet men. Though you might expect bigger cities to be great for meeting men (more men, more opportunity?) cities like Atlanta, Pittsburgh, and Houston are actually bad for meeting people.
So where should you relocate to up your odds of meeting great men? Austin, Colorado Springs, and San Diego top the list. And hey, even if you don’t meet a guy, these are cool cities to live in!
If you don’t live in a city that’s great for meeting people, consider taking a vacation: 70% of people are open to meeting someone special while on vacation, so your next boyfriend might be the passenger in seat 25E or the guy swimming in the hotel pool!
Let’s Talk About Sex
If there’s a loaded topic around dating, it’s definitely sex. To have it or not to have it? How soon to have it? How frequently? Who with?
If you’re trying to decide when to give it up to a guy, know that 1/3 of women who use online dating have sex on the first date. But only one in four women
I am glad that we’re moving away from the whole sex “rule” of thou shalt not have sex for exactly 5 dates thinking, though women still have a ways to go: only 54% of you have positive feelings about casual sex, compared to 80% of men feeling hunky dory after a hookup.
And this is interesting: researchers have found that women with wider hips are more likely to have one-night stands. Women whose hips measure at least .8 inches wider than other women have had one-night stands for three out of four of their past sexual relationships! Fascinating stuff.
But let’s dive even deeper into these dating statistics about sex:
- 57% of Americans have had sex outdoors.
- 48% of American women have faked an orgasm.
- 30% of men over 30 have paid for sex.
If you’re having sex more than once a week, you’re doing better than the 26% of couples who look forward to their weekly sex-
If you’re over 60, you might wonder what sex looks like for your peers. According to the 2017 National Poll on Healthy Aging, 40% of men and women aged 65 to 80 are having sex. For those in a relationship, that number rises to 54%.
And here’s some great news: women over the age of 70 say that sex is more physically satisfying than in was in their 40s.
What About Commitment?
So something we talk a ton about here on Sexy Confidence is commitment. While I’m sure you vary in your mood and what you want in terms of dating, being deliberately single, or having casual flings, I think most of you can agree that in general, you’d like to be in a committed relationship. In fact, according to our survey, 81% of you are looking for something serious right now.
The hard part is being patient: commitment can take a while. Our research found that over 51% of people in relationships dated their partner for more than three months before they agreed to commit to one another. And 30% took more than six months to get to commitment.
That just goes to show that there’s no standard. You could fall fast and hard for one another…or it could be a slow journey. Go with what you’re comfortable doing.
But here’s some reassuring dating statistics: if you make it to the three-month mark then you’re more likely to date for at least four years.
And if you don’t think you can meet your soul mate online, think again: 11% of couples that have been together for 10 years or less met online, and 5% of Americans who are married or in a long-term relationship met online.
But what does commitment mean to you? It doesn’t have to mean marriage, particularly these days. The number of people living together without being married has increased by 900% over the past 50 years.
It surprised me to find out that 54% of women who have been married before don’t want to marry again, and that more men than women who have been previously married end up remarrying.
If you are going to move in together, when should that happen? Well, 40% of people say six months to a year is long enough to decide whether to move in with a partner or not.
And realize: not everyone who is in a relationship is happy. In fact, our survey found that 23% of women aren’t happy in their relationships. Time to cut ties and move on, I say.
So we’ve talked about dating. We’ve talked about relationships. But let’s talk about what might be the most relevant status for you right now: singledom.
You’re in good company if you’re single: 66% of our survey respondents are, too. In fact, in 2017, more than 110 million Americans were single, whether they were divorced, widowed, or had always been single.
To put that in perspective, that’s more than 45% of all Americans over 18.
There are more people living without a spouse or partner than ever: 42% of people live alone, whereas 10 years ago, that number was 39%.
That’s good news to me because it means that the old stigma of being single is no more. Being single can be a life choice or a temporary status, depending on what you want.
I don’t know about you, but I found these dating statistics really eye-opening. It’s always cool to see what other people think and do so you can figure out where you are in the scope of things.
Talk to me. Which statistic blew your mind the most? Leave a comment below.
Let’s get you out of that single statistic, shall we? My Attract the One workshop will show you how to find and mesmerize the perfect man, and to exude confidence that he finds irresistible. Space is limited, so please sign up asap!