When you’re trying to get a guy’s attention because you’re attracted to him…it’s frustrating, isn’t it?
When you don’t want it, all the creepy guys out there seem to give you their attention…
When you do want it from a guy you actually like, it almost feels like you’re invisible to him.
Are you nodding along? Has this happened to you?
Well, never fear: this isn’t going to be a problem anymore, you sexy, single lady! In this video, I’m going to show you eight simple ways you can get a guy’s attention with little effort.
Since we’re coming into the holidays, this video is sponsored by Elfster, a Secret Santa gift exchange. You know I very rarely have sponsored links in my content, so you know that if I do, it’s because they’re super awesome, like Elfster. And hey, this site just might end up helping you get his attention, so stay tuned.
P.S. A little flirting never hurt a woman’s chances at getting a guy’s attention. Check out my Flirting Workshop to sharpen your flirting skills today!
You’re smitten. Whether it’s with a guy you’ve known for months as part of your friend group or a man you’re checking out across the bar, there’s someone you really want attention from. Only…you’re not bold and brassy, so you don’t feel comfortable just walking over and introducing yourself, or telling him that you’re into him.
So what can you do?
You know that I’m not here to give you crummy advice about flinging your hair around or getting so drunk he can’t possibly not notice you. I’ve worked with thousands of women to help them meet the right guys, and I can help you learn to get a guy’s attention the right way.
3 Mistakes to Avoid When Trying to Get a Guy’s Attention
Before we dive into seriously easy ways to get a guy’s attention, I want to cover a few common mistakes some women make in trying to do this.
Mistake #1: Attention ≠ Attraction
Just because you’re getting his attention, that doesn’t mean he’ll actually be attracted to you.
It’s fairly easy to get a guy’s attention, but that doesn’t in any way guarantee that he will want to date you. Just something to be aware of. Once you have his attention, you’ll want to really notice what his reaction to you is. Does he smile while listening to every word, or is he busier checking his phone than talking to you? The sharper your observation skills, the less time you waste on the wrong man.
Mistake #2: Being Immature
You see this more in younger women, but believe me: females of every age have been guilty of this mistake.
When you purposefully making him jealous, or worse, have your friend tell his friend that you like him…
…you’re acting like you’re in middle school. You’re not. There are better, high-value ways to get his attention.
Mistake #3: Not Knowing What to Do with His Attention
So you got his attention…now what? If you’re new (again) to the dating game, you may be insecure about flirting or expressing your interest. It will take practice, but you’ve got this!
First, figure out if he’s single, straight, and interested. Usually, within a few minutes of conversation, you can deduce this. Obviously, look for a wedding ring, but also keep an eye out in the room for a potential partner (female or male) who might be headed back to claim her or his mate!
Keep the conversation going once you have his attention, and make it clear that you’re not just being normal friendly (you’re being flirty friendly!).
8 Ways to Get a Man’s Attention
Now that you know the mistakes to avoid, add these simple tips to your flirt plan, and you’ll be on your way to finding Mr. Right.
1. Exude High Energy and Positive Body Language When You’re Around Him
Think about men you’ve been around. Who stands out: the shy wallflower, or the man who’s smiling and talking to everyone in the room? Positive energy and body language are hugely appealing and are guaranteed to get his attention.
In a recent study conducted by speed daters, they discovered that expansive body language (open gestures like arms uncrossed or a smile) was significantly more attractive than closed body language (folded arms, turned away from a person).
I can personally attest to this: when I coached men on how to go out and flirt, I would notice that we would look for women with open body language when we were in a bar. Why? Because it was more likely that they would talk to my clients!
2. Add Him on Social Media
I remember years ago (when I was single), I was at a party with lots of people. When I got home, I saw that a woman I’d talked to that night had added me as a friend on Facebook.
I thought, “Hmm, that’s a good sign!”
It’s a tiny nudge to get the attention of a man you’re interested in…with no serious risk of rejection. He doesn’t know: maybe you friend everyone you meet on Facebook!
But if he is interested, that small act of friending him can result in the two of you messaging back and forth…and who knows? Going out on a date!
So don’t forget to leverage social media — whether that’s Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat — as part of your plan to get a guy’s attention.
3. Get Creative
So as I said at the start of this, Elfster is a Secret Santa Generator where family or friends draw names and anonymously exchange presents.
Here’s the cool thing about Elfster though: you can set it up so that he ends up being your Secret Santa (if he’s in the friend group with you that’s exchanging presents).
This is where it gets sneaky: he’s going to automatically be getting to know you better because he’s trying to buy you a gift. You answer questions on Elfster to help your Secret Santa (the guy you’re into) know your preferences, like favorite color, restaurant, tv show. By the time he’s bought you a gift, he’ll know you better than the last guy you went on one date with!
Alternately, you could set it up so that you’re his Secret Santa…regardless, gifts are being exchanged between you and the guy you have a crush on, which is a great icebreaker for a relationship.
And hey, if his Love Language is “Receiving Gifts,” then you’re in a good place!
4. Flirt with Him
Here’s something interesting: in an effort to understand the concept of flirting, Dr. Monica Moore, a psychologist at Webster University in St. Louis, conducted research on flirting techniques used where people go to meet each other, like bars and restaurants. She figured out that it wasn’t necessarily the best-looking people who got approached, but rather the ones who confidently communicated that they were available by flirting.
So even if you don’t think you’re the hottest woman in the room, realize that just signaling your interest in someone gets you halfway there.
5. Break the Touch Barrier
When you’re having a conversation with a man whose attention you want, even the slightest touch will communicate that you want something more than just a friendship or professional relationship. Even a slight touch on his arm or shoulder will get his attention and get him thinking of you in a different (and sexier) light.
In research published in the book Close Relationships, written by Pamela Regan, a psychology professor at California State University, she found that the touches that best communicated romantic attraction were a soft touch to the face, a touch around the shoulder or waist, and a soft touch on the forearm.
6. Pay Attention to the People He’s With
While you might assume that the best way to get a guy’s attention is to focus on him, sometimes focusing on the people around him is a better strategy.
You’re into the hot blond guy at the bar, and he’s there with a friend. You know from personal experience that the friend would probably feel like a third wheel if you ignore him and talk to the blond, so put your attention on the friend first. This does a couple of things: first, it puts the friend at ease, realizing you’re not there to push him out to talk to his hot buddy. And second, it makes for a group interaction. Yes, you’re there to get to know him, but there’s no reason you can’t get to know his friend at the same time. Everyone’s included.
And if you make a good impression on them both, they might buy you a drink or invite you to their next stop on their evening out.
7. Take Note of Something He Says on Social Media
Social media is great for information gathering: you can learn a lot about a person by paying attention to what he posts. From there, if you want to get a guy’s attention, you can either comment on a post he’s written or mention it when you see him if he’s in your social circle.
Let’s say he posts a pic of his soccer team winning a local championship. Now you know he’s into soccer…and is a winner! That’s a great conversation-starter for the next time you see him, and it shows him that you’re taking note of him…so maybe he should do the same of you!
8. Show Off Your Natural Talents
Sometimes getting a man’s attention is as easy as being yourself. Let’s say you’re interested in someone you met through a professional networking group. You’re pretty great at public speaking, so you volunteer to speak at the next event. He’ll see you as a savvy, confident woman…and who doesn’t want one of those by his side?
Or let’s say you’re at a salsa club and you happen to know your way around a dance floor. Just dance your little heart out with any partner and be sure that he’s paying attention.
Once you get a guy’s attention, regardless of the outcome, you’ll be more confident to do the same in the future. Before long, you’ll be attracting men without even trying to! There’s something that happens when you succeed at getting someone’s attention; you feel good about yourself, and you refine your efforts. You’ll quickly know how to flirt, touch, or say the right thing to make a man take a second look at you from a romantic angle.
So tell me in the comments below: which of these tips to get a guy’s attention have you tried? What were the results? Do you have other suggestions for our Sexy Confidence community?
And, again, if you need to up your flirting game, make sure to sign up for my Flirting Workshop. Space is limited, so you’ll want to get in on it asap!