You’re not 20 anymore. Maybe not even 30 or 40. So you’re wondering: how old is too old to date?
Maybe you’ve dated half the eligible men in your city (or it feels that way), been married and divorced two times, have three kids with two fathers, and you’re way past your mid-life crisis.
You’re tired of the drama. The games that men play. You’re feeling like you’re too old to date.
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But I’m here to tell you: stay in the fight. Don’t give up.
I have worked with women from 22 to 82 and I’m telling you: there is no age where you are too old to date. It’s more about the spirit and energy you put into it. And yeah, the process can be frustrating to women of all ages, so that’s got nothing to do with your age!
P.S. You’re never too old to date…or get a refresher on how to flirt. Check out my Flirting Workshop to brush up your skills today!
“Adam, I feel so old. All the men my age online are looking for women 20 years younger! And I don’t want to date an old man. I’m just going to stay home with my cats.”
Oh, sweet, sexy lady. I hate that you’ve got your head wrapped up in this “how old is too old to date” conundrum. But I get it.
According to a study by dating app Zoosk, 60% of men are attracted to younger women. And of those, 22% like women who are more than 10 years younger than them.
Now, there are two ways to react to this information:
- Decide that all men are pigs and never date again.
- Realize that you’re saving yourself time by no longer having to deal with those disgusting guys…and know that the guys who ARE connecting with you are the real deal.
The good news is: despite a sizeable number of men think they want women 10 years or more younger, the majority end up matching with women who are just 1-3 years younger. So there’s hope!
The key here to dating when you’re older is to look at what you perceive to be your challenge (your age) as potential advantage when you’re dating. What I mean is: look at being older and wiser as a perk for the men you date.
Now let’s look at 7 reasons why in no way are you too old to date.
7 Reasons Why You Are Not Too Old To Date
It’s easy to write off dating as a “young person’s game,” but it’s absolutely not true. It’s an “everyone” game, as long as you go into it with a lighthearted attitude and without exact expectations. Maybe the guy you meet for coffee doesn’t end up being a match, but ends up being a great friend…who later introduces you to his brother, who is a match!
1. Not All Men Want Younger Women
Despite what I said earlier about a decent chunk of men looking for women who are a lot younger on dating apps (maybe it’s the fantasy that appeals), not all men want a younger woman. A scientific study on age limits of considered and actual sexual partners found that men’s preferred age range for a partner actually expands as they get older. So maybe when a guy was 30, he only considered dating women in their 20s, but now that he’s 50, he looks for women 40-60.
Take heart in this fact! And the fact that there are a million people that aren’t right for you, whether it’s because they want a younger woman, because they refuse to grow up, or because they can’t even spell Barnes & Noble (let alone read a book). You don’t need millions. You just need one. So don’t give up! He’s out there.
2. Age is (Usually) Synonymous with Maturity
You might feel too old to date, but think about it for a minute: while men (boys, really) were sooo immature when you last dated in your 20s, there’s a better chance that they’ve matured at least a little bit if they’re your age now.
So hopefully they’ve gotten past their wild years and are ready to settle down with a fantastic woman like you.
Of course, there’s always a caveat: there’s no rule that says a 55-year-old man can’t act like a d*bag 22-year-old guy, but the majority of them won’t act that way.
And you also will look at dating differently these days, from a more mature perspective. You aren’t probably desperate to find a husband and have a family the way you might have been in your 20s. You’ve been around the block and have met all sorts of men and seen all sorts of other relationships, so you know what you don’t want. And as equally important, you know more about what you do want in a partner.
Disagree with me on this? Leave a comment below!
3. Age Does not Define Interests and Ambitions
You don’t have to go to the club to meet a man. You can choose interests and hobbies that you actually care about, and that will be a great channel to meet men. Of course, you’ll increase your odds if you choose an activity that you know men enjoy, like golf! Go to events, increase your social circle, and you’ll be on your way to meeting someone in no time.
And even if you don’t meet the man of your dreams, at least you are exploring a hobby or passion of yours and making friends. That in and of itself is part of the recipe for a happy life, even without a romantic partner.
4. Your Happiness is More Important Than Your Age
I know plenty of women who are single in their 20s who are miserable.
I know plenty of women who are single in their 50s who are happy as clams at high water…because clams like high water!
My point is: you don’t need a man to complete you (thanks a lot to Jerry Maguire for making that phrase waaay too popular!). You are completely capable of being happy without a partner. It’s all about perspective. And I’m betting it’s easier to see that now than it was in your 20s. Am I right?
5. You Know Exactly What You Want in A Relationship
Like I said in #2: at this point in your life, you know what you want and are unwilling to settle for less than that. In the past, you may have dated guys you had nothing in common with simply because they showed interest (remember the hippy guy who never showered?).
But you’ve been down a bumpy road since then, and if you’ve learned anything, it’s that life is too short to settle. Some call it being picky. I call it getting it right!
In some ways it’s not just that you know what you want; it’s that you know exactly what you DON’T want. Take time to reflect on your past to assess the patterns you want to break. Do you keep dating engineers who can’t express themselves emotionally? Try dating an artist.
I know it can be frustrating when you don’t find what you want right away. But please realize that has nothing to do with your age. Women at every age struggle with this same problem, but many who are younger than you (and some who are not) end up staying with the wrong man because they are unwilling to be patient and find the one who fits all their criteria.
You will find him. You have to trust that.
6. You Probably Know Yourself Better Than Ever
By this point in your life, you know your body and your needs better than anyone. There’s no need to test out different things if you know what you want and need. If you’re a monogamous kind of lady, you know you’ll never be happy dating multiple men at once. You know if you fall quickly or if it takes you a while to open up.
Knowing what you do about yourself, you can date accordingly. It’s actually refreshing to be so comfortable in your own skin! I know many 20-year-olds who envy that.
7. Love Is Proven To Help You Live Longer and Improve Your Health
You’re getting older (we all are); it’s time to think about how you want to spend your life and doing what you can to prolong it. You can, of course, exercise and eat right, but did you realize that love can also help you live longer? Researchers at Harvard University discovered that married women are 20% less likely than single women to die of stress-related causes (heart disease, suicide, and cirrhosis of the liver). Presumably, that same benefit extends to anyone who’s in a loving and committed relationship, not just those who are married!
Being in love also reduces anxiety and stress. Another reason you’re never too old to date!
Back to the question: how old is too old to date?
Have you changed your own perspective about the answer? Do you now see that age really is nothing but a number, and that as long as you are open to the possibility of love, you should be open to the world of dating?
Certainly, dating looks different than it did in your 20s, but it’s also better in many ways. I don’t care if you’re 40 or 90: you deserve to have a man love you for the rest of your life. So to find that love, you’ll have to brave this dating world. Remember the end goal, and just enjoy yourself. Look at is as an opportunity to meet new people and try out new activities.
If you found this article and video helpful, be sure to check out part 2: How to Make Your Age an Advantage to Meeting Men. This is only available to Sexy Confidence members, however. Join now, and not only will you get extra content, but you’ll also get access to a wealth of other resources and a fantastic community of women who, just like you, are looking for love! Join now!