If you’re trying to learn how to be a high-value woman, I’m going to bet that one or more men have made you feel less than that.
Am I right?
All women are created equal…
But from a romantic perspective, not all women are equal in a man’s eyes. (Hey, I didn’t write the rules. I only report on them.)
To guys, some women are “nah…”
Other women are “meh…”
And some high-value women are “HOLY crap, this woman is amazing. I need to take her home to meet my parents.”
And no, which of these three arbitrary categories a man assigns you to is not necessarily dictated by your physical looks. There are other intangible qualities that make a high-value woman.
If you can position yourself as a high-value woman, he’ll want to take you home to mom. He’ll want to commit to you. He’ll love you.
“Adam, how can I learn how to be a high-value woman? I wanna be one!”
Not to worry; we’ll get into exactly how to be a high-value woman in this video and post. In my years of coaching women to find their one true love, I’ve seen the spectrum, from women who thought they were worthless to women who were so confident, they could attract any man. Which do you want to be?
P.S. Learning how to be a high-value woman starts with confidence. If you need a little boost in that department, why not join the Sexy Confidence Club?
Introduction: How to Be a High-Value Woman
You might spend a lot of energy looking at other women and admiring them for their confidence, their poise, or their sophistication. But I’m willing to bet others look at you for exactly the same reasons! It’s easier to see positive qualities in others than in ourselves.
So in reality, I’m not going to be your fairy godfather that waves my magic wand over your head and turns you into something you’re not.
What I am going to do is help you enhance what you’ve already got…those wonderful qualities that maybe you can’t quite see right now.
So the secret to learning how to be a high-value woman? Simply seeing that you already are one! With a few principles to help, you’ll soon see your own worth.
Principle 1: Don’t Acknowledge His Value
So the guy you’re going out with is a doctor.
Who saves children’s lives.
And is a volunteer firefighter in his spare time.
Could you have won the man lottery??
The problem with dating a fantastic guy is that you might feel a little less fantastic yourself. So you have two ways to approach this.
1. You can constantly gush about how awesome he is (his high valueness). This may please him a little at first, but after awhile, he will grow tired of it. And he might see you as less valuable in comparison.
2. You can refuse to be impressed. Of course you’re dating a high-value guy. After all, you’re flipping fabulous, and you should attract a stellar guy.
Bottom line is: the less you acknowledge someone else’s value, the higher your value. If all his accolades are just meh to you (or you at least act like they are), then he’ll perceive you as equally fabulous, if not more.
Here’s an example.
I have another company where I work with wealthy people, and let me tell you: they’re always trying to impress me with their money. Flashing their fancy cars, their Black Amex cards, they let me know that they think they have high value because of their eight-figure salaries.
What do I do? I treat them the same as if they were some Joe Shmoe. I refuse to give them higher status by treating them as better than me. So what does that do? It elevates my value.
The best way to impress a rich person? Don’t be impressed by their money.
If you’re seeing an attractive guy, treat him like you would if he looked like the guy from high school that never had a date, not some Adonis. He’ll wonder who else you’ve dated to not be impressed by what most women are.
Principle 2: Don’t Try to Flaunt Your Value
The moment you bust out your Instagram account to show off that you have 200,000 followers…
…tell him you’re “kinda a big deal in my industry…”
…or tell him you have three dates this week, is the moment you’re giving away your value to him because you’re seeking his validation. You want his approval. You want to impress him.
But that’s not the way to succeed at how to be a high-value woman. A high-value woman doesn’t shout out her accolades. He finds out how successful she is anyway, without her saying a word about it. If you have 200,000 Instagram followers, trust me, he’ll find out, because he’ll be creeping on your profile.
I know you’ve done amazing things. I know you have a super cool circle of friends. Just don’t make a point of letting him know that. Let him find out on his own.
Principle 3: Remain a Mystery to Him
Telling him your whole life story on a first date is not high-value. In fact, it shows that you’re trying to make him like you.
I get it; a lot of women simply open up easily. They’re ready to tell a guy everything from the story about breaking their leg at age two to why they got divorced.
But my advice is: be like an onion, a sexy onion (work with me here). He needs to peel back the layers gradually to get to know what you’re really about. Give him a layer here and there when he asks for it, but let the rest be shrouded in mystery.
The same goes for your social life. If he asks you out for Friday and you’re planning pedis and face masks with the girls, he doesn’t need to know that. Simply tell him you have plans. Let him wonder what you’re doing.
Principle 4: Remember, You Don’t Need a Man to Complete Your Life
You don’t need a man, you just want a relationship to supplement your already kickass life.
A man should be a nice addition to your world. He should not complete you (damn you, Jerry Maguire).
If you are living a full life with activities and people you enjoy, then you won’t be desperate to pair up and find a boyfriend. When you meet a great guy, he’ll get that about you if you’re not always available and over-eager to talk to him.
So even if inside, you’re gushing over this man, reserve a little time for you and the things you love to do. After all, you’ll still have your friends and interests down the road…the jury’s still out on whether this guy will still be around.
Principle 5: If He Doesn’t See Your Value, Then He’s Blind
I’ll be honest: not every guy will see your value. These guys aren’t the ones you need to worry about, because they’re not right for you.
Your value doesn’t decrease based on his inability to see your worth. You determine your high-value, and no one else.
Always, always demand respect. Don’t timidly ask for it. Demand it. It’s your right as a human being, and it sure as hell is yours for the taking in a relationship. And a lot of guys will try to get away without respecting you. Weed them out early and move on.
If you’re wasting your time on a man who treats you like dirt, he is not treating you like the high-value Sexy Confident lady that you are. Move on because there are dozens of guys out there who would be blown away by your magnificence.
Principle 6: A High-Value Woman Has Walking Power
Did you know you had power? Oh yeah, you totally do.
A high-value woman will walk away from a relationship if it’s not healthy for her…and men know this.
So one tip for how to be a high-value woman is to own that power. If this guy keeps disappointing you…
If he makes you feel bad about yourself…
If he doesn’t meet your expectations about what you want in a partner…
You got it. Walk.
You need to have exceedingly high standards for how you are treated. Not only does that ensure that you get out of any situation when a man isn’t meeting those standards, but it’s also attractive for men to see a woman who won’t take no sh$& from a man. It makes them want to try even harder to get your approval.
Principle 7: A High-Value Woman Will Express Her Feelings to a Man…
…when he’s clearly invested himself in her.
So if in past relationships you’ve spouted out your emotions too soon and wondered why the guy disappeared, now you know. Learning how to be a high-value woman means reserving that vulnerability only for a man who is ready to give as much as he gets.
So let the man woo you. Let him earn your trust. Even if you are melting inside because you reallyreallyreally want to profess your undying love for him…
Waiting only makes a man want a high-value woman even more. It also gives him time to sort out his feelings. Maybe he’ll even express them first, and then you have the upper hand because you can decide to reciprocate or make him sweat. (But you wouldn’t do that…would ya?)
So you see what I meant? I didn’t give you a magic spell to turn you into Beyoncé. I simply gave you some principles you can work with to succeed in how to be a high-value woman. The foundation is already there. All you have to do is know your worth and have high standards.
So let me hear from my ladies: Are you a high-value woman? Give me a “heck yeah!” in the comments below and let me know which principle you need to work on.
In part 2 of this article, I give you three scenarios you can use to show that you’re a high-value woman. But it’s only available to Sexy Confidence members. Join the Club today and get exclusive access to content like this, as well as a whole network of women who support you.