A woman who successfully learns how to be irresistible to men is one who is incredibly attractive and too tempting to resist. Men flock around her like kids around a birthday cake. It may not be rational…they just want her.
If you’ve never had a man look at you like a mouthwatering cake he can’t wait to devour, this article and video are for you. I am, in fact, going to teach you how to be that cake, assuming that is what you want.
Whether you want every man that you draw to you or not, feeling irresistible is an excellent confidence booster, and a single lady who is confident is crazy sexy. I’m going to give you a few foolproof tips on how to be irresistible to men that you will absolutely love.
P.S. Understanding how the male mind works is the first step toward learning how to be irresistible to men. Find out what they want in The Male Mind Map.
Intro: What Men Find Appealing
The first step toward finding a man that’s right for you is physical attraction. Right? You can’t fall in love if you don’t first fall in lust, or at least that’s what I’ve seen in my many years of coaching both men and women on dating and relationships.
Whether you’re posting your best photos of yourself on a dating app or trying to get the attention of a male at a party, learning how to be irresistible to men will pay off. And you never know! The next guy you draw to you like a honeybee to a flower might be your Mr. Right.
But what do men find appealing? The truth is, while the details vary from man to man (short, tall, curvy, brunette, Latina, tattoos, librarian), there are some features that every man finds sexy. These are the ones I’ll teach you to play up in this article. But just a note: they’re less about your physical appearance and more about how you carry yourself. Your energy, your poise, your sense of humor…these are the things that draw men to you more than a perfect body or face.
So let’s get started and take a look at how you can learn how to be irresistible to men!
9 (+ Bonus) Pro Tips on How To Be Irresistible to Men
I have helped literally thousands of women meet the man of their dreams, so trust me: these tips really work.
1. Confidence is Sexy: Be Confident and He Will Fall For You
Yes, I talk and talk about how important confidence is in attracting men. But there’s an excellent reason for it! Even if you can’t change anything about your physical appearance, learning to boost your confidence is an instant upgrade that delivers results every time.
Not only do men see you differently (“Wow. She is so sure of herself. I want a woman like that!”), but you see yourself differently as well. You stop settling for guys that don’t fit what you want in an ideal mate and set higher standards for yourself. All of which helps you find the right guy for the rest of your life.
Don’t believe me that men find confident women appealing? Look to science. Researchers have conducted several studies, all of which confirm that confidence is a highly-attractive trait in a potential partner.
2. Make the Most of That Eye Contact
Another tip I’ve given before is to make eye contact with the object of your desire. This, actually, is a great way to illustrate your confidence. A shy woman who is sure a man isn’t interested in her will keep her eyes down and maybe steal glances from afar.
A confident woman, on the other hand, will look him right in the eye and smile. Maybe even wink! He might be married. He might not be interested. But she doesn’t care. Because she’s hella confident.
If eye contact is difficult for you, practice it more. At work, with friends, in a restaurant, always maintain unbreaking eye contact with whoever you’re talking to. Then practice it with men you find attractive. Eventually, it will come naturally to you!
3. Be Independent to Make Yourself Irresistible to Men
Let’s look at two different women:
Veronica is eager to start dating. She’s cleared her schedule and, if asked, would agree to go out with a man this evening. Even right this minute!
Laurie has a full life. She wants to date but isn’t willing to rearrange any of her activities to go out with a man. He may have to wait a week to see her!
We all know that men like to chase women. Veronica, however, takes the thrill of the hunt away. She’s available. Too much so. Laurie, on the other hand, is more appealing because she’s less available. Men will wait in line to get on her calendar.
Which do you want to be?
Being independent, like being confident, has multiple benefits. Yes, it’s part of learning how to be irresistible to men, but it also keeps you busy. You’re not pretending you have plans to make a man wait for you…you actually are so busy you have trouble fitting him in! Having an independent life means you do what you want to be happy, and you fill your life with activities you enjoy. A man should enhance that, not replace it.
Fill your life with people and activities that bring you joy. Don’t give them up when you meet a man…especially because your independence will be the thing that draws him to you!
4. Laugh a Lot! Humor is Super Attractive
Have you ever seen a man who maybe you didn’t find attractive at first, but who, once you saw him laugh, you suddenly did find attractive? Or maybe he made you laugh, and that drew you to him even more?
Humor and laughter are definitely components of attraction. Scientists have found that while women want a man who can make them laugh, men want women who laugh at their jokes. So if you find a guy funny, by all means, let him know by giving a chuckle.
5. Be Patient
Scratching your head as to why this one’s on the list of tips for how to be irresistible to men? Hear me out.
Love takes time; I once had a client who was in her late 30s wanting to have kids. She became so frustrated trying to find Mr. Right so she could start making babies with him that she changed her dating strategy. Where she’d been dating only one man at a time, she felt like time was slipping away, so decided to date multiple guys at the same time for several months.
It worked! By the end of it, all three guys she’d been dating were chasing her! She chose the one she really liked — loved, in fact. They got married a year later, and now have two little toddlers running around…all because she was patient. She didn’t force things with one guy, but instead took the time to know three different men at the same time. Had none of them been the right fit, she would have kept dating.
I know how frustrating it is to date, especially if you’re in your 40s, 50s, or older. But trying to rush finding the right man won’t actually work, and you could end up getting even more hurt. And guys smell desperation. So if you go out with a man trying to make him right for you when he’s not, he’ll probably bolt.
6. Leverage the Power of Scent
While you put a lot of energy into choosing the right outfit and putting on makeup to be physically attractive to the opposite sex, don’t overlook your scent. Scent is, after all, one of the biggest components of attraction, subtle though it may be.
Different scents can create different responses in terms of appeal. Rose oil, vanilla, lily of the valley, and fruit scents are all appealing to men. The key is finding a perfume or fragrance that mixes well with your own pheromones and that you enjoy smelling on yourself.
7. Be Positive
Have you ever been around a negative person and just felt heavy and depressed?
Now, on the flip side, have you been around a positive person and just felt good?
People emanate energy based on their attitudes toward life. We gravitate toward those with more optimistic views, so being positive is a great way to learn how to be irresistible to men.
If you aren’t naturally positive, work on it. If the first thing you think when something bad happens is, “oh, yea, sure, of course that happens to me. Bad things always do,” I want you to work on reframing that thought. Sure, you got a flat tire. But maybe it gave you the opportunity to spend time with your brother while you changed it together. Or a cute mechanic came in a tow truck to help you. Find the silver lining.
If you tend to talk negatively about others, force yourself to stop. It’s not attractive. Wear a rubber band on your wrist, and whenever you think or say something negative, snap the band. It’s enough to draw your attention to your behavior and hopefully get you to change the bad habit.
And, again, the benefit here is more than just being attractive to men. Being more positive can keep you happier and healthier!
8. Share Your Opinions…Even If They’re Different
You’re at a party, and everyone’s raving about how great the latest superhero movie was. You saw it, and you weren’t impressed. Do you speak up and share your opinion, or keep it to yourself since it goes against the grain?
Let me tell you: men dig it when you speak your mind, even if you’re the only one in the room who feels that way. How do I know this? My girlfriend, Jessica, is a real firecracker when it comes to expressing herself, and I freaking love it.
(By the way, if you want me to bring Jessica on a future video, let me know in the comments below!)
When a woman shares her opinion, and she’s the only one that feels that way, it shows how secure she really is. She doesn’t feel compelled to agree with the crowd or keep her thoughts to herself. She values her opinion and wants it heard. So sexy.
9. Keep Parts of You a Mystery!
You might be one of those people who shares everything about yourself easily. While that’s admirable in an established relationship, I encourage you to reserve some of the facts and data about yourself when you first meet a man. Men like a little mystery, and it gives them more to look forward to learning about you over time.
Let’s say you’re on a date and you’re talking about your college experiences. You mention that you broke your neck on Spring Break sophomore year and this dude is dying to learn more. What do you do?
“That’s a story for another date.”
Now he’s intrigued and will definitely ask you out again so he can hear more about your fascinating college years.
You can also create mystery around what’s currently happening in your life. If you just started dating a man and you haven’t established exclusivity, you can leave him wondering who you were out with. If he asks what you were up to last night (and in reality, you were with your girlfriends binge-watching reality tv), you can just say you were out at dinner. Let him fill in the blanks.
BONUS Tip: Love That Sexy Body
One of the best tips for how to be irresistible to men is to really and truly love your body. I know there are a ton of conflicting messages out there in fashion magazines that make you feel like your thighs are too big or your bust too small, but please believe me when I say that there is no single ideal when it comes to women’s bodies. And men are all over the spectrum in terms of body types that they’re attracted to.
So rather than starving yourself or working out 24/7 to get your body to some ideal you have in your head, please learn to accept that the way your body is right now in this moment is absolutely perfect. You want to attract a man who finds your body (and mind and heart) irresistible…not the body you’re trying to have.
As soon as you stop criticizing your body, you’ll find that confidence we talked about in Tip #1!
It doesn’t matter who you are. Where you grew up. What you do for a living. What you look like. You absolutely have it in your power to learn how to be irresistible to men. But rather than trying to be what you think men want, focus on simply revealing your own inner beauty and poise.
No one who ever tried to put on another persona succeeded in attracting and keeping a man long-term. You might try to be someone else, and you might draw men, but you won’t keep them because it’s impossible to keep that facade up for long.
Be authentic. Be you. That’s all you have to do.
Want to get access to Part 2 of this article: How to Avoid Coming Off as “Easy” When Showing Interest in Men? Become an exclusive member of the Sexy Confidence Club to unlock it right now. As a member, you’ll get access to content before anyone else, and you’ll meet other Sexy Confident ladies in our super cool forum!
How to Avoid Coming Off as “Easy” When Showing Interest in Men
In Part 1 of this article, I taught you how to be irresistible to men. The problem is…sometimes when you show that you’re interested in a man, you give the wrong impression. You’re thinking, “wow, I really dig this guy,” but he’s thinking, “cool, she’s hot for me. She’ll sleep with me I bet.”
Maybe you do want to sleep with this guy, but I want to make sure that it happens on your schedule, and no sooner.
Mistake #1: Having Sex Too Soon
Even if you are the most sexually liberated woman on the planet, I want to caution you against having sex too early when first dating someone. Yes, you have certain physical needs (we all do), but having sex too soon has some real consequences you need to acknowledge.
First of all, it communicates to a guy that maybe you don’t want anything serious and that he doesn’t have to work for it. He gets the impression that you’ll be available as a booty call any time he wants.
But that’s not what you want, is it? You’re looking to develop emotional intimacy with a man, and while certainly, sex can do that, you can’t push that emotional bonding sooner than it needs to happen. In fact, the opposite will occur. You’ll be emotionally attached after sex and he will be less so.
Men have historically had to prove their value to females, who could afford to be picky about who they let father their children. Women wanted the strongest men to impregnate them so that they would have hardy children who would survive. And so, the chase was born.
Now, you’re not trying to find a baby daddy, but you still want to make a man feel like he’s got to earn the right to get into your bed. So make him work for it. Wait until you feel that he’s emotionally invested and that he wants something more than just sex from you before you give it to him.
Mistake #2: Initiating Texts Every Time
Another way you can come off as easy is if you’re always the one to send a text first. I know it seems silly; if you’re thinking of him, shouldn’t you just reach out? But you need to play a little hard to get as well as be reassured that he’s as into you. You do that by not texting as frequently as you would like to.
Here’s my 2:1 rule: for every two times he initiates a text, you initiate one. So if yesterday he texted you in the morning to tell you to have a great day, then later in the afternoon to send a pic of his awesome latte, you can send him a text that night to find out what that show on Netflix he told you about was. Keep the balance slightly off so that he’s still doing more of the work. As you build a relationship, of course, this number can be more like 1:1.
Mistake #3: Chasing Him
You’re an assertive woman who knows what she wants. I get it. But chasing him is another way that he may misinterpret what you’re trying to communicate, or even be put off by it. So even if you’re eager to see him or talk to him, resist the urge and let him come to you.
Coaching Action Item
Now it’s time for your homework, Sexy Confident lady. I want you to look at your behavior with the guy you’re currently dating or guys you’ve dated in the past. Have you accidentally sent out the wrong signals? Is it possible men have thought you were easy because of how soon you slept with them or how you responded to them?
Make a list of ways you can change your behaviors to play a little more hard to get. Then start changing them!