Before we get into the subject of how to compliment a guy…let me ask you a question…
… the last time someone complimented you — on your outfit, or maybe on something you did — did you like that person more…or less?
You instinctively felt like you liked them more, right?
It’s a natural human response.
So why do so many people say the way to get a man to like you is to never compliment him?
Never say nice things, never acknowledge his efforts.
If you want someone to like you, say nice things that make him like you! I don’t mean you should say nice things that aren’t true (because this will backfire)…
I mean you should be honest and authentic in praising people when they do something worth praise.
There are 11 specific moments where I know complimenting a guy will make him like you way more. Take it from me: I’ve worked with thousands of both men and women, and I can say firsthand that learning how to compliment a guy is a great way to make your way into his heart.
We like people who make us feel good.
Learn how to compliment a guy at the right time, in the right way, and he’ll fall for you fast.
P.S. Part of what makes a compliment so effective is that it shows you’re secure enough in yourself to say nice things about other people. It projects confidence, and there are few things more attractive to a man than a confident woman. If you want to learn how to develop irresistible confidence, check out my book, Men Love Confident Women.
Why Compliments Melt a Man’s Heart
Has anyone ever given you the advice that you’re not supposed to compliment a guy because the moment you show interest is the moment he loses interest?
That by ignoring him, you’re secretly transmitting energy that you want him to come to you…and that you’re desperate for him?
Well, let me tell you, whoever says this has no idea what they’re talking about.
It turns out that learning how to compliment a guy is one of the most powerful tools in your arsenal of charm.
But a lot of women don’t know how to compliment a guy.
It may take some practice. Just know: the key to a good compliment is giving them out authentically and when they’re earned.
Here’s the deal…
How to Compliment a Guy: 11 Examples
I’m going to give you 11 different scenarios you can use to compliment a man, but know that you’re not limited to just these. Give him a compliment whenever it feels right.
#1: The Positive Reinforcement Compliment
Reinforcing good behavior is a great way to compliment a guy. It’s kind of like the whole thing with Pavlov and his dogs: reward good behavior and your guy will do it again and again to please you.
Did he call you instead of text you after a date (SCORE!)? Say something like:
“I really appreciate a guy who’s willing to call instead of text.”
Did he go out of his way to fix your stove when you told him it was broken? Here’s a great compliment that will make him proud:
“Wow, you’re so handy. You can fix just about anything, can’t you?”
I guarantee whatever he did that led you to compliment him, he’ll be repeating very soon!
#2: The “Great Job” Compliment
It’s really nice to receive praise from people in our lives…
… but when we receive it from a woman that we’re really into, it charges us to succeed in ways we never knew possible.
You may not realize what an impact simply saying, “great job!” has on your man, but trust me: it makes him want to work even harder to impress you.
You can compliment him on how much weight he lifts, the fantastic meal he cooks, a promotion he got at work…just be authentic with your praise.
#3: The Classic Physical Compliment
You don’t want to overuse this, but it’s certainly useful if you don’t have any other compliments to give and you’re just feeling it in the moment. Obviously, you’re attracted to the man you’re dating, so it shouldn’t be a hardship to tell him he looks nice on your date…
…that you like his new haircut…
…or that his body is bangin’. (He’ll probably laugh at that one, but that’s okay too!)
However you compliment his physical appearance, it will make him feel great.
#4: The “You’re Great in Bed” Compliment
I don’t know a man alive (or woman, for that matter) who doesn’t like hearing compliments about his performance in the bedroom! We all feel vulnerable during sex, and at the start of a relationship, we’re worried about what the other person thinks. Allay his fears by telling him all the things he did right.
It’s also a sneaky way to guide him to pleasing you better if there was room for improvement. Some women (understandably) have trouble giving anything resembling criticism, especially on such a sensitive topic. But if you word it as a compliment, you can get what you want.
“I really liked it when you _____. I’d love it next time if you did ____, too.”
He’ll be so stoked that you liked what he was doing and will gladly give you what you ask for.
#5: The Intelligence Compliment
The man you’re dating is more than just a pretty face, so make sure you balance those physical appearance compliments with some about his intelligence. Assuming he’s an equal match for you intellectually, let him know you appreciate that fact.
“I haven’t met a man who I could talk to about Russian oligarchy the way I can with you! That’s hot!”
#6: The Style or Appearance Compliment
Another way you can learn how to compliment a guy — especially one you just started dating who maybe you don’t know as well — is to say something nice about his clothing or appearance. Maybe you just started dating a Dapper Dan who can pull off a plaid shirt, purple vest, and corduroy pants with purple sneakers. Sure, he seems to exude confidence, but it can’t hurt to let him know you admire his fashion sense.
And guys always like hearing that they put in more effort than other men:
“Wow! You look fantastic! The last guy I went on a date with showed up in cargo shorts and flip-flops. You’ve now set the bar for me much higher!”
#7: The “Way You Make Me Feel” Compliment
It’s funny: the longer you date someone, the less likely you are to compliment them. But in a long-term relationship — and in marriage — compliments can strengthen your bond. Even if you’ve only been dating this man a few weeks, learning how to compliment a guy now will build a solid foundation if it does turn out to have long-term potential.
One excellent compliment for moving things toward a committed relationship is to be open about how he makes you feel. It’s not even so much a compliment as the truth, right??
“Every morning when I wake up, I think of you and smile.”
“Hearing from you just made a terrible day much better.”
“I have butterflies in my stomach when I think of you.”
#8: The “You’re Funny” Compliment
Another thing men like being, besides handy and good in bed, is funny. After all, research shows that the funnier a man is, the more attractive he seems.
Researchers at Simon Fraser University in British Columbia had college students participate in a speed-dating event. After each speed date, participants answered questions about the interaction, including how attractive they found the person, how funny he or she was, and how interested they were in the person romantically.
The results showed that the people who had higher ratings for being funny also had higher attractiveness ratings.
You know you already find him attractive (and funny), so why not let him know? Laugh at his jokes. Tell other people that he’s so funny. He’ll appreciate it.
#9: The “You’re Handy” Compliment
I told you men like to be seen as handy, didn’t I? This is another positive reinforcement compliment because if he did something useful around your house once and you let him know how much you appreciated it, he’ll probably keep looking for little projects to help with. You’ll save a ton of money on home repairs!
Not only can you compliment him on changing out your chandelier, hanging a photo, or fixing your car, but you can also ask his advice about things he’s an expert on as a way to boost his self-esteem. Again, only do it in a genuine manner. If the guy you’re dating is a car buff and you happen to be shopping for a new car, get his opinion on a few models you’re considering, or even ask if he’d go car shopping with you.
#10: The “You’re a Great Listener” Compliment
Men aren’t always known for being good listeners. That’s not to say none of them are capable of hearing and remembering what you have to say! But when a man does listen to you, let him know that you appreciate and acknowledge it.
Maybe you told him last week that you were training for a marathon next month…and he actually remembered and asked if he could train with you.
“Wow, you were actually listening! I’m impressed!”
Maybe you needed to vent about a problem you were having with a friend…and he just listened and gave support. He didn’t try to fix the problem for you (that’s a good thing!).
“Most guys would have told me to get over it. Thanks for just being here for me.”
Did he listen to you vent for 20 minutes about your boss? Tell him:
“Thank you for being such a great listener. You really know how to be there for someone.”
If a man truly cares about you, he will listen. So compliment him by telling him what a great listener he is.
#11: The “You’re a Great Partner” Compliment
Like I said: the longer you’re with a man, the harder it can be to remember to compliment him. But step back from your daily life for a moment and see what a great boyfriend this guy really is.
He makes you vegan chicken noodle soup when you’re sick…
…cuddles your cat, even though he’s allergic…
…texts you every day to say he’s thinking of you…
He does a million little things that you appreciate, so show that appreciation by telling him what a great partner he is. He’ll be glad to know the effort hasn’t gone unnoticed and that he’s succeeding at making you deliriously happy.
I think you’ve probably learned how to compliment a guy by now and maybe have a few other ideas for how you can show this man how much you appreciate him. Even if you’re in the early days of dating, complimenting him makes him more invested in a future with you…and also makes him want to do more things to get your approval.
I’ll leave you with a few tips on how to get the most out of your compliments:
- Make eye contact and smile when you give the compliment so he knows you’re being genuine.
- Use “I” instead of “you:” “I love your new look” instead of “You look great!”
- Don’t go overboard complimenting him 10x a day. One or two will do!
- Don’t compliment him to get something out of him. Do it because you want to show your appreciation.
So now tell me and the Sexy Confidence community some of the compliments you’ve given your guy…and his response to them. I’d love to hear from you in the comments right below.
Learning how to compliment a guy is just one way you can exude confidence. Learn more ways in my book, Men Love Confident Women.