If you’re looking for tips on how to make him want you, you’re in the right place. Welcome.
You’ve been seeing this guy a few weeks or months, and you’re starting to feel all gushy and vulnerable around him.
Congratulations, lady. You are in love.
The problem is: you’re not sure if he’s in love with you. And nothing sucks more than having an imbalance in the love department. You want him to feel as warm and fuzzy about you as you feel about him.
If only there were a way to make that happen, to learn how to make him want you…
You knew I wasn’t going to leave you hanging, right?
In this video, I reveal five powerful words that will make him fall in love with you, as well as how to make him want you more than anything.
Could it really be that simple? Could a handful of words melt his heart and make him want you even more?
Trust me on this: words have a lot of power when it comes to relationships. Let’s take a look at which words pack the biggest punch when it comes to making him want you forever.
PS If you’re ready to get serious about commitment with this guy, you need to check out my Casual to Committed Blueprint. It’s got detailed tips that will help you turn this casual thing you’ve got going on into a full-out committed relationship.
All it takes are five simple — but powerful — words.
If you ingrain these words into your relationships, you’ll attract more men, and you will be far more powerful in any relationship than you’ve ever been in the past. Using these words, you’ll learn how to make him want you, no matter who “he” is.
Did you know that, statistically speaking, men are actually more likely to fall in love before a woman?
That may come as a surprise to you, especially if you feel like you fall for a guy way too soon. But sometimes a man falls in love, but then sits on those feelings until he’s ready to share them.
I know. Frustrating, right?
Whether he’s already fallen for you and is holding it in, or he just needs a little nudge, these five words will help you unlock a man’s heart and discover how to make him want you.
How to Make Him Want You Word #1: “You”
Now, I believe that the definition of a great relationship is when both people give to one another and they both focus their energy on the other person.
When you talk about “you” to your guy, rather than “I,” he will notice that you seem to always have his well being on your mind, instead of your own.
That doesn’t always happen, I’ve found.
In my experience as a dating coach (as well as actually dating, back when I was single), I’ve discovered that there are basically two different relationship archetypes.
The first one includes those types of people who get into a relationship in order to get something.
These people tend to be selfish in a relationship. They might be in it to feel wanted or loved. They might want a hot partner to show off to their friends. They might want someone who can entertain them. Whatever they want, they’re not willing to give much to get it.
This kind of guy isn’t for you, my friend.
And then the second archetype includes those who want a relationship in order to give something.
They’re ready to give their love, their devotion, their trust, and support.
This is a winner because if he’s giving in the relationship, he’s giving his time, his energy, his resources, and putting everything he can into this relationship. And you’re doing the same; you’re being thoughtful, you’re doing everything you can to make his life better. Then, ultimately, the whole becomes so much greater than the sum of two parts.
This, to me, is the definition of a healthy relationship: when both people focus their energy on the other person, and ultimately both are so much better off for being in that relationship. Simply being there for your guy is one of the best ways in your mission of how to make him want you.
But keep in mind, if you find yourself in a relationship with a guy who’s not focusing his energy on you in return, then you need to realize this: it’s not going to get better. If you’re finding you’re the only person investing yourself into the relationship, it’s time to really take a hard look as to whether or not this is what you want.
How to Make Him Want You Word #2: “Yes”
The second word that’s going to help you uncover how to make him want you and fall in love with you is so simple.
Now, according to a fascinating study, it was determined that a woman’s physical appearance is less of a deciding factor for attracting the opposite sex as long as the woman is positive.
Think about it. Aren’t you more drawn to people with a sunny outlook than those Negative Nellies of the world? If you’re an Eeyore, you might have trouble attracting a long-term partner.
So be positive. Say yes.
(Isn’t it nice to know that looks aren’t everything? That personality really is more important?)
I can tell you, back when I was single, there were so many women who might have been physically attractive, but I just got this incredibly negative vibe from them. It might have been their body language that told me they weren’t happy with their lives. The moment that I got that feeling, I immediately wanted to back away, and look somewhere else for a woman who had a positive outlook on the world.
Try this for me: today, take note of how many negative things you say.
Of course I got a flat tire. That’s just how my day is going.
You’ll never get promoted.
I can’t believe she dared to wear those pants to work!
At the end of the day, assess how much negativity you spewed today. Is it a lot? A little? Can you work on not saying so many pessimistic things?
If you were surprised at how much darkness came out of your mouth, consider how your partner might feel if he gets a constant stream of that negative vibe. Do you think he’d be excited about the prospect of long-term love with someone that has such a bleak outlook on life?
Tomorrow, any time a negative thought pops into your head, keep it to yourself. Find a positive spin:
Ah, man. A flat tire. Well, at least I get out of that sales meeting today!
You deserve that promotion. You’ve worked hard for it.
She’s pretty brave to wear those sequin pants. I don’t know that I have it in me.
Whenever you want to say no, try saying yes, especially with your guy. If he spontaneously asks you to go ice skating, and in your head, you’re thinking that you’d rather not fall on your ass in front of this guy, say yes anyway. It’ll make for a memorable experience, especially if you fall (and hey, all the more reason to hang onto him on the ice).
How to Make Him Want You Word #3: “I”
Funny that both “you” and “I” are on my list for how to make him want you, huh? Let me explain.
You’ve been told a lie from fairy tales and movies growing up when it comes to what love is all about. You’ve been taught that you are incomplete until you find your “better half.” That once you find him, you should give everything to him, including your identity.
Let me set the record straight.
When you finally meet a great person, a great partner, or “The One” in your life, it doesn’t mean that you finally found your better half. You are whole, whether you have a boyfriend or husband or are on your own.
Finding someone to love just means that you found someone to add to your already incredible life.
I think a lot of relationship advice out there caters to the type of people who want to get lost in a relationship, who are willing to lose their sense of self.
These people are not role models. They are broken. I believe you have to keep the “I” in your relationship.
Never forget who you are. Maintain your independence. Certainly, you will change the longer you spend with a man, but you should always, always keep who you are. After all, you’re who he fell in love with (especially after using this list of words), so why would you feel compelled to turn yourself into an ideal you think he wants? Or why would you want to be with a man who didn’t love you for who you are?
This doesn’t mean that you don’t want to spend time with him, that you can’t learn from him. But you do need to remember that you have needs and wants, and they are important. He will want you all the more for maintaining your separate identity and sense of self.
How to Make Him Want You Word #4: “Thanks”
Such a tiny word. So easy to say…so why don’t we hear it more?
A recent study by a psychologist at the University of North Carolina found that on days when partners reported feeling more grateful for their significant other’s acts of kindness, or the things that they did, they also reported feeling much more connected to that person.
And I can speak to this personally; I find that if my girlfriend, Jessica, and I ever get into a fight, we make sure that shortly after, we ask one another:
What are three things that you’re grateful for?
More often than not, at least one of those three things is something positive about the other person. And that gratitude has a way of washing away all the bullshit we were bickering over before. Gratitude can boil it down to the most important things in your life.
And there’s a lot of psychology that goes into this, where the moment that you start focusing on the things that are important and the things that really matter to you, you stop stressing about the things that don’t.
So think about how you can say thank you more to this guy you care so much for. Maybe you can thank him for cooking dinner. Or picking up your dry cleaning. Or simply being a good boyfriend (that one will take him pleasantly by surprise). It’s easy to complain when he does something that makes you unhappy, but the last thing you want is for him to come to expect the complaints. Make gratitude the de facto, and I guarantee this will help you learn how to make him want you more.
How to Make Him Want You Word #5: “No”
The last word on our list for how to make him want you is a big fat no.
Yes AND no? C’mon Adam. You’re confusing me.
I know, I know. Just bear with me and you’ll see why this is one of the most powerful words you can use to make him fall in love with you.
“No” is actually one of the strongest words in the dictionary, and I have found that with a lot of women, when they start to fall for a man, or they’re really interested in a man, they want to say yes to everything.
Am I right?
If you’re like this, you might not want to rock the boat by disagreeing with him or making your own needs met. So you might pretend to be interested in NASCAR, when in reality it bores you to tears. You might agree to go to a steakhouse for dinner…even though you’re vegetarian.
You’re saying yes when you shouldn’t.
The type of woman who really attracts men, and who piques their interest, is willing to say no. To push back when she doesn’t agree, to let a guy know she’s not interested in whatever he’s proposing, or to call him on his bullshit.
Don’t be afraid to say no. To push back. That’s part of incorporating Word #3 (“I”) into your relationship: being true to who you are, even when it means saying no.
Believe it or not, it’s an incredibly attractive quality, being able to disagree or express your feelings.
Bonus How to Make Him Want You Word: Listen
Just because I like you so much, I’ll throw in a bonus word that will help you make a man absolutely addicted to you.
Listening is such an important part of falling in love because as we fall in love, and as we really connect with someone on a more deep emotional level, we have a need to be heard.
You: Today was such a bad day. My boss yelled at me in front of the team.
Him: Oh yea? That’s too bad.
You: And then I spilled coffee on my white shirt…
Him: Uh huh.
You: And then I was abducted by aliens who made me their love slave.
This is not listening!
You need a man who doesn’t just blankly nod and rub your back when you open up to him. You need a man who actually hears you, and who shows that he cares about what you’re talking about.
Your partner needs to be heard as well.
I’ve found that, when it comes to bonding with someone, the best way to make that person connect with you is not by talking. It’s by listening. All you have to do is ask him questions, get him talking about himself and opening up to you. The funny thing about this trick is that he will feel like he knows you so well, even though he’s done all the talking. And this will help you discover how to make him want you so much.
So all you have to do is listen. Listen when he talks about his bad day. About his passion for Star Trek. About his lame brother. You don’t have to care about what he talks about, but because you care about him, you need to show that you’re supportive, whether he needs advice or an ear to listen.
While you can’t force a man to fall in love with you, you can learn how to make him want you and be ready to profess his love for you sooner if you use words like you, yes, I, thanks, and no, as well as be willing to listen to him.
Being in a relationship is about realizing that there are two of you with different wants, needs, and interests. When you can use the love languages that speak to him, you’ll show him that there’s nobody better in the world for him than you.
What one word have you found to be the most effective in moving your relationship forward? Have you tried any of these? How did they work? Please leave a comment below.
And if you need a little help attracting The One, I invite you to join my exclusive Attract the One Academy.