When you read a headline that reads how to make your ex-boyfriend miss you, what immediately comes to mind?
Secret spells to bring him back? (I’ll tell you a story about secret spells at the end of this video.)
Sure, a lot of sites and books give you this crappy advice to make your ex want you again, but I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to resort to any of that in your efforts to make your ex-boyfriend miss you. None of it works anyway, at least not long-term.
If you’re going through a breakup or you’re suffering from heartbreak and think there’s a chance of reuniting with your ex, then I’ve got better tips for you than the above. My tips, unlike those manipulative ones, will show him what he’s missing and help you win him back…if you really want him back.
P.S. I filmed the video above as part of a special launch for a brand new package I’ve created called Heal Your Heart and Win Him Back. I give you every resource possible to heal your heart (because that’s important, even if you get back with your ex) and then make him beg to get you back.
So he broke up with you and you’re missing the guy like crazy…
Or maybe you broke up with him, but now you realize it was a big ole mistake.
Either way, you’re not convinced that moving on without this guy is the right move. But things are a mess. Words were said. Anger was spewed. Tears were cried. How the eff are you supposed to go from this awkward stage to getting back together?
The biggest thing you must do right now is to make your ex-boyfriend miss you. If he realizes that the two of you are meant to be together, that reunion will be just around the corner. But in order to get him to have you on the brain, we first need to follow a few key rules. Ready?
1. Give Your Ex Time To Miss You
How can you expect to make your ex-boyfriend miss you if you haven’t stopped talking to him??
When a relationship ends, the last thing you want to do is give him all of your emotional energy. At this point, he doesn’t even know he wants it. So give him (and you) some space.
I support the concept of the No Contact Rule. Do not communicate with him (that includes texting, talking, meeting, or even carrier pigeon-ing) for 21 days.
Adam, you’re just being cruel.
No, I’m trying to help you. First and foremost, you need to give yourself time to heal from the break up before you do anything! You might even decide after these three weeks that breaking up was the best thing for both of you, and then it’ll be easier to move on.
But also, if he has some time away from you, he’ll reflect on the relationship, and he may be more amenable to getting back together after he’s had time and space to miss you.
So how can you enforce that No Contact rule when all you want to do is flip through your phone and cry over photos of the two of you?
If he’s the one keeping the contact going, let him know you need it to stop so that you have time to heal. He should respect that. If you need to, block his number. But I’m hoping if you explain to him that you need some distance that he’ll give it to you.
You might even remove his number from your phone so you don’t get tempted to drunk dial or text him!
2. Get Out and Active
The best way to heal after a breakup?
Get a life. Promise me you will not park yourself on the couch and binge watch Game of Thrones. Okay, I’ll give you two days to do this, but after that, you’re moving your ass. Got it?
Plan outings with friends, even if you don’t feel like it. Go for a walk around your neighborhood. Science backs the fact that exercise gives your brain a boost of dopamine, and after a breakup, you need all the happy hormones you can get. It’ll be hard the first time, but once you realize how much better you feel, I guarantee you can make it a habit to help you through.
Plan some sort of trip or vacation so you’re not at home being sad. Ten years ago, I went through a pretty rough breakup of a 2-year relationship. Rather than staying home and feeling sorry for myself, the first thing I did was book a trip to visit my brother in Washington DC. It was great because, while sure, he and I talked a little about the breakup, I was distracted just enjoying my bro time.
Traveling — or just doing something out of your normal routine — opens your eyes to the reality that there’s more to life going on than your breakup. It gives you a new sense of adventure and excitement for your single life. Who knows? Maybe it’ll make you want to be single for a while.
3. Take Care of Yourself
If you’re looking for more devious tips on how to make your ex-boyfriend miss you, let me set you straight: your first and foremost goal after a breakup is to get yourself together. Because: who wants to get back together with a whining, crying ex-girlfriend? Am I right?
Focus on Friendships
So use this time that you’re not talking to your ex to get back to yourself. Maybe you’ve got some girlfriends who you cast aside to hang out with your magical boyfriend. Now’s the time to reconnect with those friends. They’ll be there for you emotionally in your time of need.
If you had mutual friends and the breakup has put a dent in your social circle, go out and make new friends! Attend mixers and happy hours and be open to new friendships.
Boost Your Health
Now more than ever, it’s important to take care of your health. Realize that your body is vulnerable right now, and you may be more prone to getting sick.
David Sbarra, a professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, researched what happened after couples split up. He found that the psychological stress — particularly after a longer relationship — can seriously impact your immune system.
“The greater your anguish after a split and the longer that feeling persists, the bigger the hit your immune system is likely to take,” he says.
Think about it: you became so used to having your partner around, especially if you lived together or just spent a lot of time together. Now that he’s gone, everything feels out of sync. You can’t sleep without him next to you. Your body temperature might even be going wonky. All of this is normal, but you need to really take care of your health right now.
So while you don’t want to spend all your time on the couch feeling sorry for yourself, you also don’t want to overbook yourself going out, taxing your immune system. Find the balance. If you start to feel run down, cancel your plans for the night and take a nice hot bath.
Eat more vegetables! You laugh, but most people either don’t feel like eating after a breakup or eat so much junk food that their bodies rebel by getting sick.
So treat your body right.
Date…If You’re Up For It
Another way to heal is to go on a few dates with someone new. I know what you’re saying: isn’t that going to make my ex-boyfriend miss me through jealousy? I thought I wasn’t supposed to do that!
Your objective in dating other people isn’t to make him jealous. Hell, he doesn’t even have to know at this point that you’re dating. It’s to help you regain your confidence and heal.
You’re low right now. But maybe there’s a guy somewhere in your life who looks at your breakup as his opportunity to get to know you. Or maybe you hop on dating apps and see what’s out there. Either way, there are a few benefits:
- You may meet someone who makes you realize that your ex was all wrong for you
- You may meet someone who makes you realize your ex is still The One for you
- You’ll feel sexy
- You’ll feel confident
- Hey! Free dinner!
Now, I said you should date if you’re up for it. You might be nowhere near ready to sit across from a new man and talk about your hobbies. I get it. But be open to it. That’s all I ask.
4. Stop Stalking Him on Facebook
Another way to have some distance between you and your ex in this critical No Contact period is to unfollow your ex on social media. Why? Because we know that if you’re following him, you’ll be more attached to
stalking him er, keeping tabs on what he’s doing. You may be thrown into tears if you see him posing in a photo with another woman (who actually turns out to be a cousin). It’s not healthy.
By the way, in that new resource I told you about, I have an amazing guide called The Post-Breakup Guide to Dealing With Social Media and Your Ex. It’s a must-read.
Just because you unfollow him doesn’t mean he’ll unfollow you, especially on sites like Twitter and Instagram, so be aware of what you’re posting. Do you think a steady stream of why did he leave me? Woe is me! will make your ex-boyfriend miss you? Nah. He’ll probably be glad you split up.
Now, I’m not saying you need to make your life look more fabulous than it is just to pose for him. But since you’re taking my advice and getting out into the world, it can’t hurt to post photos of you being happy. Genuinely happy, not fake happy.
5. Give it Time
The best way for you to heal your heart (even if you do get back together with him down the road) is to just be patient and give it time. Your heart is an open wound, and you need time for it to scab over.
I know you want to rush through the pain, but grief has no timeline. There is not a single thing you can do to rush the process of healing. I’m sorry. I wish there was.
But whether or not you get back with your ex, you need to reserve enough time for you to process what happened, get used to being away from him, and decide whether reuniting is really what’s best for you. It may not be, and you won’t know that until you’ve had some distance and time to work through your emotions.
Now as promised, I’m going to tell you the story about a spellcaster. On one of my posts, I got so many comments about this alleged spellcaster, so I decided to email him because I was curious: how much does one charge for such a scam?
I went to bed and completely forgot that I emailed the guy.
Now I love my girlfriend Jessica to death. I love sleeping next to her every night…but sometimes she can be a bed hog, and this particular night, she was bed-hogging hard, so I went to sleep on the couch.
In the middle of the night, my phone started beeping, which was strange because I had it on do not disturb. I ignored it and went to sleep. The phone continued to ring.
It was the spellcaster! He called me three times using WhatsAppp. Somehow he tracked my phone number! Creepy much? He left voicemails asking me if I was ready to cast a spell to get my ex back. Needless to say, I was so freaked out, I made myself a pot of coffee and stayed up working on Heal Your Heart and Win Him Back so you ladies never ever have to call a spellcaster!
Do you have chills right now?? I do.
My point here is: you don’t need a magic wand to make your ex-boyfriend miss you. You’re fabulous, and he’ll remember that. Just give him some space. Get on with your life. Work on your own healing. Decide if you actually want him back, if he’s really the right fit for your life moving forward.
If he’s not, then let him go. Move on.
If he is, you need to have frank discussions about how you two cannot make the same mistakes if you get back together. Communication is key.
So good luck to you! I’d love to hear your stories of how you made your ex-boyfriend miss you in the comments below.
And if you’re serious about winning him back, be sure to check out Heal Your Heart and Win Him Back. That spellcaster really threw me for a loop, and I went overboard in offering a ton of bonus gifts for this resource.