Figuring out how to meet men is the top frustration I hear about from single women I coach.
When you’re in college, it’s easy to meet people. In class. At parties. Everywhere.
But something happens as you get older. It gets harder and harder to meet men. Either they’re already paired up or you simply don’t find the opportunity to meet them.
You don’t want to date someone from work. You’ve been set up by friends before and…well, that was awkward. So how the heck are you supposed to figure out how to meet men in this day and age?
Please believe me: it is absolutely possible to meet men…you just have to know where and how to do it. And that’s exactly what I’m going to teach you in this video and article.
P.S. You’re definitely going to want to up your flirting game as part of learning how to meet men. Join the thousands of women who have gone through my Flirting Workshop and instantly amped up their flirting skills.
7 Simple Tips on How to Meet Men
Sometimes it’s less about knowing where to find single men and more about how you present yourself wherever you are. The following tips will help you discover ways you can make yourself approachable, wherever you are. Whether you’re reading a book at the coffee shop or waiting to check out at the grocery store, these tips on how to meet men in person will instantly boost your game.
1. Wear a Comfortable But Attractive Outfit
First things first: if you aren’t comfortable in what you’re wearing, you won’t be confident in talking to men. I know some women that take this whole comfort thing too far: they run errands in their favorite ex-boyfriend sweatpants and three-sizes-too-big t-shirt. Let’s move a bit away from that level of comfort, m’kay? You want to wear something that you feel good in and that complements your body. Maybe it’s red, the color that warms up your skin tone. Maybe it’s your Lulu yoga pants that your butt just looks damn good in. If it’s something you’ve gotten compliments wearing and it’s comfortable, it’s good to go.
Now, I’m not saying every time you leave the house you need to dress to meet a man. But do you want to run into the cute guy that you met 6 years ago at a friends party un-showered and wearing last nights pajamas? Take pride in your appearance. You should leave the house feeling like a million bucks. You should feel like strutting down the street (even if you don’t actually do it) ready to conquer the world. What you wear should build your confidence.
2. Spray Your Best Perfume
Another tip for how to meet men is to pay attention to how you smell. So, just like with the clothing, pick a scent that you like (and please, shower frequently!).
Have you ever noticed how one perfume can smell completely different on two people? That’s because it mingles with other elements like your pheromones as well as any other products that have a scent. Lindsey Bordone, M.D., assistant professor of dermatology at Columbia University Medical Center says:
“The favorable smells that make up a person’s scent are more a combination of their body wash, shampoo, deodorant, fragrance, hair product, fabric-softener sheets, and other scented products used throughout everyday life. While there is uniqueness to a person’s scent, there are many other things that influence the final ‘product.’”
So while you can’t help how you end up smelling once all these things mix together, you can choose a perfume that fits your personality. Are you girly? Try something floral. An outdoor lover? Go for a scent with an earthy base. A food lover? Try something with vanilla or chocolate undertones. Then be confident that your unique scent will attract the right guy!
3. Make Yourself Look Unoccupied
I know that eating a meal alone or sitting by yourself in a coffee shop can be a bit intimidating, and the first thing you do is try to look busy. That’s actually the worst thing you can do if you’re trying to learn how to meet men.
Look at it like this: if you saw a cute guy in a coffee shop and he was immersed in a book, would you interrupt him to talk to him? Probably not. You wouldn’t want to disturb him. So the same goes for you. Certainly, bring the book, but look around every page or so and make it obvious that you wouldn’t mind putting your bookmark in the book to start up a conversation with the right person.
Your phone is a crutch when it comes to blocking you from meeting men. If you’re constantly on it, scrolling through dating profiles or whatever, you’re not looking up. And then you might miss the totally hot guy checking you out! Put the phone down, take the headphones out, and be open to conversation with someone new.
4. Use Body Language To Attract The Guy You Want to Talk To You
A lot of the frustration I’ve noted from women about how to meet men is that they’ll see a guy, lock eyes, and be sure that he’s interested. But then…he never comes over to introduce himself!
Men aren’t always sure that you want them to approach. They don’t know if you’re single or waiting for your husband to sit down. So they err on the side of caution and don’t approach. But it’s within your power to draw them over!
Using what I call “come-hither body language,” you can give the right signals that will inspire a man to come talk to you. All you have to do?
And not one of those half-ass smiles you give any stranger you walk past. A genuine beam that tells him that he’s the recipient of such a winning grin. This shows him you’re open. It may not tell him you’re single, but he can at least find an excuse to talk to you. Maybe he asks what you’re drinking or if you have the time (while he’s holding his phone, which of course has a clock on it!).
5. Make Eye Contact With Him
Another must-do when working on how to meet men and show that you’re interested is to make eye contact with him for several seconds. Again, give it more effort than just a casual glance you’d give just anyone. Let your eyes linger. Make sure that smile you’ve perfected works its way up to your eyes. Smiling with your eyes — or smizing, as this article calls it — is authentic and shows that you’re not just smiling to be polite.
From the guy’s perspective, let me just say: there’s nothing more exciting than when you’re out with friends and a woman makes eye contact with you for a millisecond longer than would be normal. If your friends notice, they’ll rag on you to go talk to her. If you’re smart, you will.
So give him that opportunity by prolonging that glance.
6. Be Ready To Engage in a Fun Conversation
If you’re shy, you may have trouble with learning how to meet men. You may be taken off guard when a guy approaches and talks to you…and you might end up driving him away without meaning to.
Always be open to a conversation with a stranger, whether you find him attractive or not. It’s good practice. In addition to responding in a friendly manner, make sure your face and body language also communicate your openness. Again, smile! Turn your body toward the man, and lean toward him.
Even if he starts the conversation, find a reason to continue it. Ask questions. Make jokes. Keep it light.
Him: “Excuse me. Can I please borrow your salt shaker?”
You: “Certainly! But fair warning: it seems to be all lumped together. I guess it’s the humidity.”
Him: “Yea, it has been rather humid lately. I have to shower right after work because I’m drenched.”
You: “Oh, what do you do?”
You see how a simple request for the salt shaker turned into a conversation? It’s partly your responsibility to keep it going, otherwise he takes the salt and you never speak another word to him.
7. If He Doesn’t Come to You, Don’t Be Scared To Take The Initiative
Like I said: some guys won’t approach you. You shouldn’t take offense to that. They may just be shy or insecure, or may fear you rejecting him. But realize: he’s out because he wants to meet a woman…so be that woman!
And take it from me: men like it when women approach. It shows that they’re assertive, and it makes it clear that they’re interested.
But some tips on how to meet men by taking that initiative. Don’t force it, first of all. If you’re feeling gross because you’ve got a pimple the size of Mount Vesuvius on your nose, you won’t feel confident and approaching him will probably not achieve what you want simply because you’re not feeling 100%.
Also, realize that you don’t have to ooze sexiness over to him. So many women I’ve coached have this misconception about what men find attractive. You don’t need to slink over in a dress that barely covers your stuff and lean over so he gets a good look at your cleavage. All you have to do is be you. Smile and say hi. If you’re naturally funny, make a joke. Ask for the salt shaker (you know the guy in the last example didn’t really need it, right? He just needed an excuse to talk to you). Compliment him.
Go into it with zero expectations. Heck, he could be married or gay. You have no idea. You’re just approaching a man that you find cute and hoping something comes of it. But if it doesn’t? No skin off your back.
Quick Tutorial on How to Start a Conversation With Men
Now that I’ve given you 7 easy tips on how to meet men, let’s dive a bit deeper into how to start a conversation with a man. After all: meeting him is just the first step. Ideally, you develop a conversation that leads to more conversations that lead to one date and then another…
You get the point.
But it all starts with that first conversation. If you nail it, you’ve succeeded.
1. Introduce Yourself With a Big Smile
This is such an overlooked but simple way to get the ball rolling! Whether you start talking by introducing yourself or interject it a few exchanges later, you’re taking things to the next level. Giving him your name creates even more opportunities. He can introduce himself in return. He can comment on your name. He can ask where you’re from. So many options!
2. Ask a Genuine Question About Him
I realize you have limited data about this guy just seconds after meeting him, but pay attention, because you’ll find opportunities to ask really thought-provoking questions…or just ones that will make him laugh. Here are a few examples you can glean simply by observing him for a few seconds.
“Wow, that’s quite a scar. Do you have an awesome story about how you got it?”
“I need to ask you something intensely personal. How can you possibly drink IPA??”
“Laptop open. Are you working or playing?”
“I saw tattoos like that when I traveled around New Zealand. Does it have personal meaning?”
3. Listen Carefully to Him
Did you realize there are different types of listening? Sometimes you’re not really listening but are putting more energy into thinking about what you’ll say next…or even what you want to cook for dinner. This is passive listening.
Active listening, on the other hand, requires you to actually pay attention and reflect upon what the other person is telling you. You can show that you’re listening by keeping eye contact, nodding, and then repeating or asking about something he’s said
4. Share an Interesting Story About You
Don’t let him do all the talking! You need to give as well as take in this conversation, so find fun anecdotes to share that will intrigue him and make him linger…or better yet, get your number so you can continue the conversation over dinner later!
As I said at the start of this article: learning how to meet men is as much about paying attention to your behavior as it is being in the right place. If you position yourself as friendly and approachable, men will approach. Trust me.
In part 2 of this article, I give you tips on where to meet men to practice these tips. Want access to part 2: Where to Go to Meet Men? Join the Sexy Confidence Club to not only get instant access but to also find an incredibly supportive community that will be there every step of the way as you work to find the man of your dreams.