One of the most frustrating things for my female clients, especially those over 40, is knowing how to meet single men. When you’re in college, you meet guys every day, in class or at parties. But when you’re older and you focus your life on raising kids or on your career — and if your social circle is primarily married friends — it can be challenging to find opportunities to meet single men.
Technology Has Made Meeting Single Men Easier
While it can be a conundrum, trying to figure out how to meet single men, there’s one thing that can be tremendously helpful: technology. Not only can dating apps help you connect with men that fit what you’re looking for age, appearance, and career-wise, but you can also find groups on sites like Meetup.com to simply get out and meet more people, regardless of romantic potential.
If you haven’t yet braved the world of online dating, give it a shot. The great thing is that you can curate exactly who you’re looking for. If, for example, you only want to date men who are 6’5″ with dark hair who are engineers, you can set your search parameters for that! At the very least, it gives you practice talking and texting with men, which is always helpful.
Best 20 Places and Ways To Meet Single Men
Many women I know are averse to meeting men online and prefer the more natural in-person method. Still, if you’re not open to opportunities at the right time, you might miss a great guy who’s right beneath your nose!
That being said, you may have to get out of your comfort zone in order to put yourself in places where you’re more likely to meet single men. You won’t meet a guy if you always stay in with your girlfriends (unless the pizza delivery guy is your cup of tea)! So get out there. Go to new places. Try new things. At the very least, you’ll enrich your life and have great experiences.
Here are some places to consider as you figure out where and how to meet single men.
1. Dog Parks
Okay, let me just say this: if you do not have a dog, don’t hang out at a dog park. Because it’s just weird! But if you have a pooch, why not let her get some exercise while scoping out the (hopefully) single doggie dads who are there?
This strategy for how to meet single guys is such a simple one because dogs are such a wonderful conversation starter. Who doesn’t love to have people fawn over their dog? If he ends up being married or taken, at least it’s not weird that you struck up a conversation with him.
Let’s say you see a good-looking guy at the dog park every Thursday night when you take Delilah for a little ball-throwing. Toss the ball in his general direction so you have an excuse to approach. Here’s how that conversation might go.
You: “Hi there. Which one of these pooches is yours?”
Him: “The Dalmatian over there humping the tree.”
You: “Oh wow, he’s quite…exuberant. I’m Tiffany, by the way.”
Him: “Hi Tiffany. I’m Martin. Who’s this bundle of cuteness?”
And just like that, you’ve started a conversation. Just make sure to pick up Delilah’s poop.
2. Standing in Line
Do you ever stop to think about how long we spend standing in lines? Well, you don’t have to wonder because someone else already figured it out: 10 years! What a waste…unless you make the most of that time.
If you’re standing in line behind a cute guy, use a little humor to strike up a conversation:
You: “Hey, what are we standing in line for?” (smile so he knows you’re joking.)
3. On a Plane
An airplane is a great place to get friendly with just about anyone, including men. It’s tricky though: the man you’re talking to may not live in your city, so you may waste your time on a guy who’s here on vacation (just look around to make sure his wife and kids aren’t sitting on the other side of him). But if the two of you hit it off, having several hours of flight time to get to know each other can be a great spark for things to come.
You: “You’re not a nervous flyer, are you? Because I’m not nervous unless other people are nervous.”
Him: “No, I travel all the time. Don’t worry; if you get nervous, I’ll hold your hand.”
4. The Gym
When it comes to trying to meet guys at a gym, there are two schools of thought:
EW. No way. I’m sweaty and wearing yoga pants.
Hm. There are definitely some hot guys at my gym…
If you’re serious about fitness, this is probably one of the places where you spend the most of your time, so why not figure out how to meet single men at the gym? If you keep seeing the same guy doing deadlifts every week while you’re killing it with squats, take a slow approach.
Week 1: Make eye contact. Smile.
Week 2: Pass him and say “hey.”
Week 3: Find an excuse to talk to him. If you use the same equipment, ask if he’s done (if he looks done). If he’s on equipment you’ve never used, ask if he can show you how to use it.
Keep in mind: you run the risk of going out with this guy and things not working out. Then what will you do about your fitness routine? Change days? Change gyms? Hopefully, it won’t come to that, but get to know him in the guy for a while first before agreeing to go on a date.
5. On Public Transportation
Another place you may spend significant time is on a bus or train commuting to work. Again, this is an opportunity to see the same guy doing the same commute, and there’s opportunity to strike up a conversation.
But realize that if you don’t take a chance, you might regret it later, like Devin Custalow did. After feeling a connection with a man wearing yellow shoes on the subway, she had a mural painted in New York City, inviting the mystery man to meet her on Valentine’s Day. The event drew a crowd…but unfortunately not the yellow-shoed man. Take this story to heart, and be brave enough to strike up that train conversation.
6. Cooking Classes
Singles cooking classes are sprouting up all over the world, and they make for a great opportunity to meet single men who, if they don’t already know how to cook, are at least making an effort to! Because cooking classes are so hands-on and involved, they make for a fantastic bonding opportunity.
Often, instructors will pair up a man and woman to partner together, which can make it even easier to get to know a guy. You could ask for tips on dicing, get his opinion on your broth, or simply make fun of his technique.
7. Language Classes
I always say the best way to meet single men is to not try! Do something you’re interested in, and if you meet someone, great! Learning a new language is a great way to stretch your brain (and prepare to visit a new country!). And you never know who else will be in the class (or teaching it).
A lot of times, language instructors will pair students up to work on an assignment together, so make sure you’re sitting next to that cutie so that you snag him as a partner.
8. Networking Events
If you’re tired of meeting scrubs with crappy jobs, realize that where you meet a man can also determine how successful he is. Professional networking events have two benefits: 1. you’ll expand your professional network and maybe find some great business opportunities and 2. you’ll meet men who are professionally-driven.
In a scientific study, researchers looked at two characteristics of men: prestige and dominance. While dominance was associated with short-term relationships, prestigious men were linked to successful long-term mating. So if you’re looking for something serious, look for a guy who’s successful and likes what he does for a living.
Just a note: networking can be tricky: I know a man who met an attractive woman at a business networking event. They exchanged numbers and set up a dinner “date.” He assumed it was romantic…but she was business-only. Be willing to spend time with this man on a professional level and see where it goes if necessary. Here are a few conversation starters that might help you gauge whether he’s interested without making a fool of yourself:
“It sounds like you work a ton! How does that impact your personal life?” (this gives him the opportunity to mention a wife or girlfriend if he has one.)
“Wow, if I had a boyfriend who worked as many hours as you do, I’d struggle with that!” (same thing.)
“So what do you do when you’re not kicking ass and taking names at work?”
9. Bars and Restaurants
Let me just say: this tip on how to meet single men requires a little independence because it works best if you’re alone in a bar or restaurant (though it can work if you’ve got your wing women with you). Your best strategy is to sit at the bar alone. I know; a lot of women are uncomfortable with this. But you can chat with the bartender or read a book if you’re uncomfortable. Just don’t get so engrossed in it that you don’t notice the people around you.
Be willing to strike up a conversation!
- Ask for the salt shaker
- Ask how a drink that a guy ordered tastes
- Make a comment/joke about what’s playing on the tv
If you’re into sports, go to a sports bar during a big game. It’s a great icebreaker. Even if you’re rooting for the opposite team, you can still rag on the guy you’re interested in.
10. At the Beach Or Pool
Summertime is here! If you plan on being outdoors and near water a lot this summer, make the most of the opportunity, because you might just meet Mr. Right. It’s a fun, lighthearted place to be, so keep your approach the same.
“Hey there. I think your back is burning. Want me to apply some sunscreen?”
“Excuse me. I can’t reach this spot on my back. Would you mind putting some sunscreen on it?”
11.Vacations and Tourist Spots
This one’s better for a short-term fling…or if you’re willing to have a long-distance relationship since more than likely a man you meet here won’t be a local.
The bonus is that you’ll have a great time exploring the touristy side of your city. So many locals don’t do what visitors to a city do, so you might find something you never knew existed right beneath your nose.
On the other hand, if you’ve been to the local theme park a dozen times, you can use that opportunity to play tour guide to a man you meet.
If you’re on dating apps, I know men who, when visiting a city, hop on to meet local women who can show them around. They may or may not be looking for a hookup. Some just like having local flavor and making new friends. And hey, if you click, you can always have him return the favor if you visit his city one day!
You feel like you’ve exhausted your social circle’s pool of single and available men, but you never know. Parties are a fabulous opportunity to meet friends of friends of friends. Because everyone is socializing and having a good time, there’s no pressure for the two of you to pair off…but if it happens, you can always get the scoop on what this guy is like from the friends that brought him.
If you’re too shy to introduce yourself, ask a mutual friend to do it. If you’re just a little shy, join a conversation he’s having with other partygoers. If you’re not shy at all, walk right up to him and introduce yourself. That’s that Sexy Confidence at work!
13. Active Events
If you love getting your 5K on, this is a great way to meet single men! Mud runs, obstacle course challenges, and other active events always attract men, so if you’re physically fit and into that type of activity, why not sign up? Active men are more likely to be drawn to active women, and you’ll already know you have a few things in common.
And hey, don’t be shy about creating a little healthy competition. Just before the race or event starts, look at the guy and say something like, “Think you can beat me? Good luck with that!” then take off, leaving him in your dust.
14. Bar Crawls
Admittedly, being drunk is not the ideal situation to meet a man, but I still know people who ended up being couples after meeting on a bar crawl. The key is going with a friend and setting your limit drinkwise. Tell your friend that no matter how much you like a guy, she is not to let you leave with him! This keeps you safe…and also makes him want to connect with you sober to get to know you.
Lots of cities host singles bar crawls, so do a little searching online to see if there’s an event coming up.
If you meet a guy early in the event, pull back from drinking so much so that you can have your wits about you. And just another safety tip: if he buys you a drink, go with him to the bar so you can watch it being made. This ensures he doesn’t put anything “extra” in that drink. He probably won’t, but as they say: better safe than sorry.
I live in Boston, and it seems like every weekend (especially in the spring and summer), there’s some sort of festival going on.
Food and beer fests.
Not only are these events a ton of fun, but you can also meet some cool people. I especially like the food and beverage events because there’s something about walking around holding your plate and cup that just disarms people and makes it easy to have a conversation.
“Ooh. That looks good. Where did you get that?”
“What number tasting are you on? Who knew someone could have so many tiny pours of beer!”
16. Sports Clubs
Whether you’re into sailing, tennis, or rock climbing, there’s probably a club for that in your town. Not only will you stay fit, but you’ll also make friends…and maybe even successfully learn how to meet single men there. Even if you don’t meet a single guy at one of the meetups, you might later on through the network you build. Having a shared love of a given sport is a great foundation for a relationship!
If you are a churchgoing soul, never underestimate the power of the spirit. It just might move you to meet someone! The great thing about meeting a man at church is that you know you have shared values. That’s one of the key building blocks for a long and happy relationship (and even marriage), so meeting a man at church is a great start.
If you’re shy about introducing yourself, ask your pastor/priest/minister to do it. And if you don’t have a specific church you go to, look for churches that cater to people your age. Some may even hold singles mixers.
What is it about weddings that brings single people together? Maybe it’s seeing a happy couple and wanting the same for yourself, but when it comes to how to meet single men, you can’t overlook the wedding!
Whether you’re in the wedding party or a guest, make sure you look your best. If you’re close to the bride or groom, you might even do a little research beforehand to find out what single guys will be there (and which to avoid). Make the most out of the party by talking to as many people as possible, dancing, and having a good time.
Men dig chicks who read! And vice versa. Bookstores may be a dying breed, but they’re still a cool place to succeed at how to meet single men. Again, meeting someone in a place that you love already tells you that you have something in common (books!).
So head to your favorite bookstore, order a chai latte, and curl up on that couch, leaving room for anyone who might want to sit next to you!
20. Co-ed Sports Leagues
Here’s another sporty way to meet men: co-ed sports leagues. Soccer, volleyball, and dodgeball are just a few examples of sports that mix men and women on a team. Playing with a man you’re attracted to gives you the opportunity to observe how much of a team player he is, as well as how he interacts with his teammates. If the team goes out for drinks after the game, get him alone for a little one-on-one conversation.
Conclusion: Important Tips When Learning How to Meet Single Men
Let’s end with a few tips to maximize your opportunity to meet single men. First of all, be willing to try new things. You will get out of your comfort zone, and that’s okay. But don’t force it. If you absolutely hate sports, don’t plop down at a sports bar and think it’s going to work. The first man you meet will realize you have no clue about football, and he’ll wonder why you’re there.
Also, be aware of who’s around you. While it’s easy to get sucked into the game you’re playing, you might not notice a guy checking you out!
And lastly, have a good time! While you should find more opportunities where you might succeed in learning how to meet single men, you should also be doing things you actually enjoy.
Let’s hear from my ladies: what tips do you have on how to meet single men? Leave them in the comments below.
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