Are you getting overwhelmed with all the sexting and d!ck pics out there in the dating world?
You’re not alone.
It turns out, the older you are, the less into getting digitally sexy you are likely to be: while about 40% of Gen Z (those aged 18-22) have sexted, only 25% of Gen X (those aged 40s-50s) have.
Still, sexuality and sexiness are an important part of dating and relationships. Maybe you’d like to learn how to talk dirty to a guy…if only it didn’t make you blush!
How Talking Dirty Can Enhance a Relationship
Think talking dirty is only for casual sex? Not at all! It can actually make your sex life—not to mention your relationship—healthier and happier.
On Elite Daily, Dr. Jess O’Reilly, host of the Drive Your Lover Wild video series, says: “Talking about sex leads to better sex.”
It can create anticipation before you have sex for the first time…as well as all the times after that. It can help you get him to do what you want between the sheets. And it can make him feel like a god in bed!
How to Talk Dirty to a Guy
Before you assume that learning how to talk dirty to a guy is going to require you to wash your mouth out with soap, keep reading. There are definitely classy ways to go about it…though if full raunch is your thing, go for it!
1. Tell Him What You Want Him to Do to You
This serves two purposes: first, it is sexy as hell. And second, it helps you have more pleasure during sex. This technique is especially useful when you start having sex with someone new and maybe feel awkward telling him that you really don’t like that thing he insists on doing every time you have sex!
Instead, use a little dirty talk to course-correct him to doing something you like more. You can also pair that with hands-on instruction. When he finds your sweet spot, let him know!
You could say something like:
“I want you to slowly kiss me down my body…lower…lower…”
2. Tell Him What You’re Going to Do to Him
The flip side of the coin is when you take control of the situation and let him exactly how you’re going to ravage him. This one, you can do either during sex or before to build up some anticipation.
Imagine how hot and bothered he’d be if he got a text outlining all the things you want to do to him later that night while he’s at work!
“When I come over later, I’m going to slowly undress…but you can’t touch me…”
3. Remind Him of the Amazing Things He Did Last Night
I call this the Recap.
You might be surprised to hear it, but men, even more than women, like to be complimented. Especially in the bedroom. So, by doing a little recap of last night’s fireworks, you’re making him feel pretty darn great…and making him want a repeat tonight.
“Damn. I’m still sore from last night. Well worth it for all those orgasms you gave me!”
4. Tell Him About a Dirty Dream You Had
C’mon. Admit it. You’ve had a sexy dream or two. Rather than keeping it to yourself and turning red whenever you think about it, why not share it with the literal man of your dreams?
Even if you didn’t have a dirty dream…you can pretend you did! Hopefully, you’ll get to act it out later!
“I had the naughtiest dream last night…you wouldn’t believe what we were doing…”
5. Tell Him Your Fantasy
Did you know that the most common sexual fantasy is having sex with multiple partners at once? That’s what Justin J. Lehmiller, Ph.D., Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, found out when he surveyed people for his book, Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life.
Other common fantasies included:
- Power, control, and rough sex
- Doing something new, like having sex in a different position or setting
- Doing something taboo
- Passion, romance, and intimacy
- Being in a nonmonogamous relationship
- Pushing boundaries of your gender identity
Whether that’s your fantasy or it’s something else, sharing that fantasy with your partner can be a great way to spice up your sex life. It can feel pretty vulnerable to share what secretly gets you hot, but it can also go a long way toward cementing that trusting bond you have with him.
“My secret fantasy is…having sex in a bathroom in a club. Wanna make my fantasy come true?”
6. Let Him Know You Want to Be in Charge
Like taking the reins in the bedroom? There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, most men like it.
So learn how to talk dirty to a guy by telling him that you will be in control tonight. Tell him what the rules are. Can he touch you? Will he be punished if he makes a sound? What exactly will you do to him?
“Tonight, I’m in charge. I will have my way with you, and if you try to touch me, I will punish you. Be a good boy now…”
7. Tell Him When You’re About to Climax
Not all men know when you’re having an orgasm. It doesn’t help that many women fake them! but it can be sexy if you let him know when you’re about to orgasm. It’ll also keep him from switching positions at a critical moment and possibly disrupting those fireworks.
“Oh baby, that’s it!” You’re gonna make me…ohhhhh!”
Do you feel more comfortable with dirty talk? I hope so, but likely it will take some practice for you to get confident with it. Give it time, and gauge his response. Is he into it? Does he respond better to one kind of dirty talk than others?
If you’re not sure what he likes…ask him! You’re in a relationship and you should be able to communicate openly about everything. Express your interest in talking sexy to him, and ask what he likes so you can deliver.
How did your first attempt at talking dirty go? Good, bad, or ugly, we’re here to support you. Talk to us in the comments below!