The vast majority of my clients are looking for tips on how to talk to men.
It’s understandable: talking comes perfectly natural to many women…but sometimes you meet a man that you’re attracted to…
Then suddenly, all of your smooth, sexy, confident ways go right out the window and you’re left with nothing to say.
It can be frustrating when you, an intelligent and beautiful woman, can’t figure out what to say to a mere man. But it happens.
But learning how to talk to men is like anything: it gets easier with practice. Today, I’m going to give you a framework that you can take with you anywhere, whether you’re going out for a beer with friends at night, hitting a singles event, or simply ordering coffee next to a hot guy in line. By the end of this video and article, you’ll be more confident about how to talk to men.
P.S. You’ll soon see that the secret ingredient in learning how to talk to men is CONFIDENCE. If you could use a little extra dose of it right now, why not join my Sexy Confidence Club?
PPS. This video is sponsored by the Meet Me App. Try it out here to practice talking to men!
So you want to become a master of how to talk to men. Maybe you’d settle for just not looking like a deer in the headlights any time some fine man smiles at you.
Maybe you’ve had enough awkward moments that, had you not been frozen and mute, might have actually turned into something, and you’re sick of them.
It’s time to release that smooth, sassy, sexy, confident lady you know you can be.
Ready for it?
I sure am. So here are a few things you want to keep in mind when you talk to men you’re attracted to.
How to Talk to Men Tip 1: Tease Him a Bit
Most men love a sassy lady. Despite what you might think, we’re not looking for a cookie-cutter woman who acts and thinks like the next girl. We want someone unique. A snowflake.
So if you’re naturally bold and a bit snarky, let it show.
Call him out if he’s trying to be smooth.
Him: Are you tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all night long!
You: Wow, I thought they retired that line with bell bottoms 40 years ago!
Challenge him when he’s bullshitting.
Him: Yea, I bench press 300.
You: Ooh wow. How about you bench press me right here and now? That’s about what I weigh [and it totally isn’t].
Note: there is a slight difference between teasing a man and putting him off. If he was brave enough to come talk to you — even if it was to deliver a cheesy pickup line — you don’t want to shame him for doing so. So if you notice a wounded look in his eyes, pull back from the teasing.
You want to be memorable, but not someone he’s eager to forget!
How to Talk to Men Tip 2: Be Confident and Enjoy the Moment
I know how incredibly easy it is to stay in your head when you’re on a date or meeting a man that you find hot.
OMG do I have spinach in my teeth?
Is he bored? He’s bored. He looked at his watch.
I have no idea what to say! Help!
Here’s something I want you to keep in mind the next time you’re struggling with how to talk to men: realize that they’re as nervous as you are. He might have checked his watch because he’s amazed you haven’t fallen asleep or walked out on the date yet. He may be struggling himself with talking to you.
So I want you to take a deep breath and relax.
You are just talking to a man. You don’t have to marry this man. Heck, you don’t even have to see him again if you don’t want to. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to get it right.
Honestly, if you were to shoot milk out of your nose or spill your drink, you would both laugh, and that might lighten the mood. So stop aiming for perfection and just be yourself!
How to Talk to Men Tip 3: Compliment Him
Humans are terrible at complimenting in general. Why is it so rare that we do it?
I think women are scared to compliment a guy because it makes them look easy to get. Sometimes desperate. In fact, it really doesn’t. You can still be a challenge for him to pursue even if you compliment him. Consider it a way to open up the conversation.
I love your tattoo! Do you have an artist you’d recommend?
I’ve been wanting to try the blonde roast. Do you like it?
It’s funny: men and women compliment one another very differently. A man may compliment you on your eyes, your hair, or even your body (though he runs the risk of you considering it harassment, not a compliment). Women often compliment something not physical on a man. It’s safer to comment on his shirt than his eyes and have him know — gasp! — that you’re interested!
Still, whether you’re brave enough to tell him that his eyes are deeper than the ocean or you want to stick to one of the examples above, complimenting a man is a great way to strike up conversation…and boost his ego.
How to Talk to Men Tip 4: Focus on the Nonverbal Communication
Sometimes it’s not what you say, but what your body says. Body language is a huge component of expressing attraction. So even if you don’t know what to talk about, you can let a guy know by giving him the right body language.
Chief Medical Expert and saludmóvil™ founder, Dr. Joseph Mosquera says leaning toward someone is a great start: “Leaning towards someone, especially squaring off your shoulders for full-on attention is a nonverbal way of telling them you are engaged and interested.”
You can also touch his arm or shoulder and do a little hair flip. Smiling is, of course, one of the best ways to show interest. Smiling shows that you’re happy, so you are communicating to a man that he makes you happy. Score.
How to Talk to Men Tip 5: Keep it Mysterious
Look, most women I know are pretty chatty. Many won’t hesitate to lay out their entire life story within minutes of meeting someone. But if you want to know how to successfully talk to men, hold some things back. Save them for a future conversation.
Why am I telling you this?
First of all, it intrigues him. It gives him something to look forward to knowing, which means he’s going to have to get your number so you can talk again and he can ask you out.
But also, men like information in bite-sized chunks. If you meet a guy at a coffee shop and proceed to tell him that you’re divorced, have a 13-year-old kid, had a breast cancer scare last year, and are looking for a long-term relationship…how many guys do you think will actually be keen to ask you out after that information dump??
Make him wonder about you. Keep him guessing. You’ll seem exotic, and therefore more desirable, if you hold some things back.
How to Talk to Men Tip 6: Express Your Passions
I don’t know about other guys, but I find it incredibly sexy when a woman is passionate about something.
It could be deep sea diving.
It doesn’t matter what the thing is — hell, it doesn’t even matter if I’m interested in that thing — but there’s just something so attractive about a woman who has passions.
So don’t be shy about expressing your passions to a man. Tell him why you like what you’re into. How you got into it. What you hope to do in the future (maybe go on a fabulous diving trip to Australia?).
You never know: telling a guy on a first date that you’re really into hiking could open the door for Date #2: on a hike!
And get him to talk about his passions! You might share some, or he might introduce you to something you know nothing about but would like to.
How to Talk to Men Tip 7: Ask Questions
This is a good way to start a conversation with anyone, not just a man you’re interested in. It’s also useful in the early texts you share if you meet a man through a dating app.
Ask him questions.
It’s that simple. Scientific studies show that people who ask questions, along with follow-up questions, are found more desirable by the individuals they have a conversation with.
So ask about his childhood.
So you have a pit bull? I love pits! Do you find people are afraid of them? I know they’re gentle but some people are clueless.
Hopefully, if he’s smart, he will also ask you questions so that the conversation isn’t one-sided.
How to Talk to Men Tip 8: Ask His Opinion
Oh, men LOVE being asked their opinions! This is such a good way to initiate conversation with a man that leaves you tongue-tied.
Let’s say you’re in line at that coffee shop and he orders a flat white. You’ve never had one before, so you ask:
What makes a flat white better than a cappuccino?
Maybe you’re on a first date with a guy you met through a dating app and you’re trying to spark a conversation because you’re both clearly nervous.
So you said you live downtown. I’ve been thinking about moving that way. Do you prefer the east side or west?
Asking someone’s opinion makes them invested in the conversation. Give it a try and leave a comment below on how this strategy worked for you.
How to Talk to Men Tip 9: Practice, Practice, Practice!
As they say, practice makes perfect. If you’ve been out of the dating game for a while, you may feel rusty in figuring out how to talk to a guy you don’t know or are attracted to. I say don’t overthink it. Just get as much practice as you can.
Get on dating apps — even if they scare you and you aren’t sure you want to meet someone that way — and just start chatting. MeetMe is a great app to start with. You’ll meet men from all walks of life, all with different communication styles. You’ll quickly learn what works and what doesn’t. Try out these tips I’ve been offering you, and I guarantee if you put effort in, you’ll get benefits out.
Then when you’re ready to meet someone face-to-face, you will be more confident at communicating with a man you’re interested in.
By the way, MeetMe sponsored this video and post. You know I don’t push certain brands unless they meet my high standards, but I have to say, this dating app will help you have interesting conversations with men and really hone your style. Want to support Sexy Confidence? Go download the MeetMe app!
How to Talk to Men Tip 10: Don’t Try to Fill the Silence
Especially if you’re nervous, you may try to ensure that there’s never a lull in the conversation. But that’s a mistake. Research shows that men, more than women, value silence.
So if you’re on a date and you’re both taking a bite, it’s okay to chew in silence (way better than the alternative of talking with your mouth full of food!). Smile instead. Or after you tell a story, take a breath and let him have a turn to talk.
A successful interaction with a man involves both of you talking, and that can’t happen if you keep filling the silence with chatter!
See? Learning how to talk to men isn’t as scary as you thought. And the more you do it, the more confidence you will gain, and the easier it will be to strike up a conversation with a man you find attractive.
Communication is the first step on the road to intimacy. How can you expect to meet your future someone special if you can’t communicate with a possible contender for the role? If you gain confidence in communicating in those early days with a man you want to date, you will lay the foundation for positive communications once it turns into a bona fide relationship. Then you’ll find it easy to talk about your emotions or something that bothers you.
Okay, today I want to do something different: I want to give you some homework. Over the next few days, I want you to put these tips into action. When you see a cute guy, whether that’s in a restaurant, at work, or on a first date, I want you to employ some of the tips I gave you here. Then report back here and let the Sexy Confidence community know how it went! Good luck!
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