If you want to know how to tell if a guy likes you, allow me to give you a little advice: you’re probably overthinking it.
You’re looking for grand gestures.
You want him to show up at your door with a dozen red roses.
You want him to call you his girlfriend after just one date.
You want him to introduce you to his mom.
You want him to write a song about you, expounding on your beauty and wit.
I can tell you’ve been watching a lot of rom-com movies, and that’s a shame. I hate how pop culture gives women a skewed idea of what romance is like.
Unfortunately, we guys rarely make such large romantic efforts. You know who writes those scenes in romantic movies?
Yep. Not men. We wouldn’t even think about running across a field of flowers so you can leap into our arms. It’s just not how we operate.
And the truth is: we don’t need to be Mr. Romantic for you to know if a guy likes you. We tell you that we like you in subtle ways.
You just have to pay attention to know how to tell if a guy likes you. But don’t worry; I’m about to give you the 411 on what to look for as signs he does.
How To Tell If a Guy Likes You Sign #1: Body Language
One of the best ways to tell if a guy likes you is to pay attention to what he does with his body when he’s around you. Body language has scientifically been proven to communicate attraction.
In a study by Vacharkulksemsuk and associates, speed daters who used expansive body language (like widespread limbs or a stretched torso) were 76% more likely to be chosen for a date.
Clearly, body language says something to a person you’re interested in. No words needed.
So when you’re with your guy, pay attention to how his body is positioned. Does he lean in toward you when you talk, as if hanging on your every word? Does he mirror you, meaning if you, for example, cross your legs, he also crosses his?
If you want to know how to tell if a man likes you, see if his feet are pointing in your direction. Generally, when there is attraction or interest, he will point his body toward you.
On the other hand, his body language can also tell you that he’s not interested. If he crosses his arms while talking to you, or points his body away from you, he may not be interested in you romantically.
Pay attention to what he’s saying with his body language. It may speak volumes about how he feels about you.
How To Tell If a Guy Likes You Sign #2: He Get Nervous Around You
While you might get butterflies whenever you see your crush, you have to realize that he, too, may get nervous around you. Anything you’re feeling, he probably is feeling too.
So, if he likes you, he might act nervous.
Nervousness is portrayed in different ways by different people.
He might talk super fast and not pause for a breath or to let you say something.
He might stutter.
His hands might shake.
He might tell dumb jokes.
Realize that what might come off as self-centered — like him doing all the talking, or not asking you questions — might just be a case of the nerves, so think twice before writing him off as not interested.
Just think about what you do around a man that you like when you get nervous. Look for signs like those to know that he’s feeling the same!
How To Tell If a Guy Likes You Sign #3: He Makes Eye Contact
Above all, you will know a guy likes you if he maintains eye contact with you. This can happen when you first catch one another’s eyes across the bar as well as on a first date. If he’s got you locked in his sights while you talk, it’s a great sign!
If he is into you, he may sweep your face from right to left with his adoring gaze. He might even lift his eyebrow at you.
However, here’s something interesting: eye contact isn’t the only way to know how to tell if a guy likes you. There are other areas he may look if he’s interested. In a recent scientific study, researchers at Wellesley College and the University of Kansas discovered that both men and women who were romantically interested in someone would stare at that person’s head or chest frequently. If they considered that person just a friend, they looked at feet or legs more.
So before you slap him for looking at your chest (my eyes are up here, buddy), know that this is another sign that he is interested in you romantically.
How To Tell If a Guy Likes You Sign #4: He Gives You A Lot Of Attention
This tip is a good one if you’re in a crowd of people, where it can be challenging to gauge his interest. If he’s giving you more attention than anyone else and exhibiting some of these other signs, there’s a good chance he does.
Test it out. If you’re at a party, move away from the crowd that he’s in. Say you need to get a drink or something. Then don’t return. See if he catches your eye across the room, or, even better, follows you to where you are.
The key here is confidence. If you are confident of your power to draw him, he most certainly will follow you. But if you look like you’re doing everything you can to not rush back over into the glow of his attention, that will turn him off.
If, however, you leave his area and he doesn’t seem to notice, he’s either playing games or isn’t interested in you. More research is needed.
How To Tell If a Guy Likes You Sign #5: He Smiles A Lot
Not only does smiling attract others to you, but it’s also an indicator of attraction.
The next time you’re with the man you’re interested in, notice how often he smiles. Then: what kind of smile is he giving you? Is it a polite smile to just show interest in what you’re saying?
A fake smile that totally doesn’t fool you?
Or a smile — that includes his eyes — that says he’s having a great time and is enjoying his time with you?
Want to get him to smile more? Do more smiling yourself. They’re contagious. I promise.
How To Tell If a Guy Likes You Sign #6: He Finds Excuses To Touch You All The Time
Look, guys like to touch on ladies.
Some do it in a pervy manner that gets them slapped. This isn’t the kind of touching you’re looking for. Instead, you’re looking for little innocent touches like on the arm or shoulder. A man who is into you will find excuses to touch you. Here are some examples:
Oh, cool. What does your tattoo say? [he gently grabs your wrist and rubs his thumb over your tattoo.]
Wow, you’re tense. Need a massage? [he squeezes your shoulder.]
After you. [he gently grazes your low back with his palm as you walk through the door.]
Oh, you’ve got something in your hair. [he gently brushes your hair back.]
Trust me: if a man does not like you, he doesn’t want to give the wrong impression by touching you in a way that might make you think he’s interested. So if he’s finding ways to touch you, he’s clearly trying to communicate his feelings.
So if you want to tell if a guy likes you, pay attention to how he finds an opportunity to touch you or make it seem accidental. That arm wrestling match he coerced you into? Yea. That was planned.
How To Tell If a Guy Likes You Sign #7: Pay Attention To His Friends
First of all, if you’ve met his friends already, this is an excellent sign. That alone indicates that a) they know about you and b) he’s proud to show you off to them.
But maybe you met this guy at the same time that you met his friends. Maybe you already knew them. Either way, they can provide clues for how this man feels about you.
Are they surprised at your presence when you show up with him for events? Or do they greet you comfortably, like they fully expected you to be there?
Do you get the sense that he talks to them about you? Do they say things like you’ve got a real winner with John? Overall, you’re looking for clues that this man is comfortable enough with his bros to talk to them about the lady in his life. You don’t want to be a secret. You want him to be so stunned that a looker like you is interested in him that he shouts it from the rooftops to anyone who will listen.
If you haven’t met his friends yet, tell him you’d like to meet them. Suggest a beer meetup with them and see what he says. If he’s not into you or hasn’t told them about you, he may be hesitant to make plans with them. If a guy likes you, though, he’ll be quick to include you in plans with his closest friends.
How To Tell If a Guy Likes You Sign #8: He Teases You A Lot
Look, I’ll be the first to admit: men can sometimes be juvenile. When we were kids, we got a girl’s attention by teasing her. Calling her names, pulling her pigtails, you name it.
So can you really wonder why some of us still use this tactic to get your attention as grown women?
Yea, I admit it’s probably not the best strategy, but there you have it. Wanna know how to tell if a guy likes you? He teases you incessantly.
Now, to be sure, there’s a right way and a wrong way to tease a woman. Obviously, if his teasing is mean or makes you uncomfortable, let him know and he should back off. But a gentle teasing tells you he’s feeling playful around you and wants to make you laugh.
Him: Wow, you look great.
You: Aw, thank you. That’s sweet.
Him: How much does it cost to hire Beyonce’s makeup artist? Because she did such a fantastic job on you, I might hire her myself!
If you’re game, tease back. It’s a great way to get some real chemistry going on between you two.
How To Tell If a Guy Likes You Sign #9: He Compliments Often
You look fantastic today.
Wow, that dress looks amazing on you.
You’re the funniest woman I ever met.
I have such a good time with you.
Men don’t usually dole out the compliments unless they mean them. If the guy you’re dating is quick to say nice things about you, he’s most likely into you.
Do pay attention to assess whether the compliments are sincere. And watch out that not all the compliments he gives you are about your physical looks. Certainly, it’s nice to hear that he is physically attracted to you, but if he’s not talking about your brain or your wit, you might wonder if all he wants is a fling.
And consider how you take the compliment. Recently, author, social worker, and activist Feminista Jones conducted a social experiment and found out that men don’t like it when you agree with their compliments. They often expect you to demurely blush, lower your eyes, and say, Why, this old thing? It’s what I do my housecleaning in!
What she did was pretty funny, actually. A guy would tell a woman that she had a great body, and she’d reply I know, right?
Needless to say, the unsuspecting men were thrown off by this reaction. So take the compliment. Say thank you. Even if you feel uncomfortable when he tells you you’re beautiful because you don’t agree, accept that he thinks so. Say thanks and move on with your life.
How To Tell If a Guy Likes You Sign #10: He Connects With You On Social Media
We live in a world where being connected on social media is an indicator of connections in real life. Strange, I know. And while many men aren’t even on Facebook (whereas you post every day to keep up with friends and family), if he starts following you or connecting with you on social media, it’s because he wants into your world.
He likely will dig through your past posts and photos to get a sense of who you are (don’t even front; you’re doing the same!). Really, this is a good thing, because it gives him the opportunity to get to know you sneakily. So let him do it.
If you start noticing that he’s liking your Instagram posts and commenting on your shares, you can tell he likes you!
And if you’ve been on a few dates and you bring up connecting on social because he hasn’t, you might ask yourself why. Sometimes a man who won’t friend you on Facebook or tag you on Instagram has something to hide.
How To Tell If a Guy Likes You Sign #11: He Doesn’t Use His Phone Around You
I know, I know. The fact that this is a sign that a guy likes you is a testament to how glued to our mobile phones we all are today.
But phubbing is a real thing. The slang term for “phone snubbing,” it describes how someone can totally ignore you, instead opting to scroll through social media feeds or checking the news or texts on their phone.
It’s insulting. And yet, for many, it is extremely hard to put down the phone and focus on the real, live human in front of us.
But if his phone never leaves his pocket, or even if it sits face down on the table, he is clearly ready to give you his undivided attention. He only does that with people he likes and respects. So count yourself among this exclusive group.
The best thing you can do is to reciprocate. Leave your phone in your purse. You can even compliment him on his self-restraint: Wow! Most guys totally ignore me for their phones. I love that you aren’t glued to yours.
(That also sets a precedent for him to understand that you don’t like it when you get ignored for a phone, in the off chance that he simply hasn’t gotten around to gluing his face to his phone just yet.)
How To Tell If a Guy Likes You Sign #12: He Can Regurgitate What You’ve Told Him
In my experience as a dating coach, I can’t tell you how many women have told me how important it is that a guy listens to them. Not just listens but actually hears. That means a guy doesn’t look at you with a glazed expression on a date. He’s actually interested in what you’re saying.
Even if you’re talking about rocket science or a recently discovered type of mold.
And if a guy likes you, he’ll go one step further: he’ll refer back to something you said previously. Maybe when you texted on the dating app last week, you told him about that time that a llama sneezed in your face when you were five. When you meet for coffee, he brings it up when the barista sneezes.
See? He’s paying attention, and that’s great news for you.
How To Tell If a Guy Likes You Sign #13: He Asks Questions
Another big fail many guys make on first dates is talking about themselves incessantly. This flaw doesn’t necessarily mean you’re dating a narcissist, but it may indicate that he’s not all that into you.
A man that likes you will want to get to know you. How can he do that? By asking you questions. About your work. About your family. About your upbringing and friends.
Good chemistry flow has both people on a date asking and answering questions back and forth.
So if you’re mid-date and wondering how to tell if a guy likes you, consider how many questions he’s asked you versus talked about himself. Are you doing all the asking? Or is he genuinely showing interest in what you’re telling him and coming up with more followup questions?
Look, men aren’t great at communicating that we like you. It’s intimidating, putting ourselves out there. So we make it a little challenging for you to figure out if we are into you.
For that, allow me to apologize for the entire male species.
But if you get out of your head a bit and pay attention, you’ll see that we’re giving off signs that we’re into you. It’s in our body language. In the things we say. In how comfortable we are with you. In how fast we respond to your text or ask you out again.
Sure, some of us are into playing games, and you’ll have to accept that or keep looking for a man who won’t play games to win your affection.
But let me give you this piece of advice: trust your gut. If you’re sure that a guy likes you, he probably is. He might be shy or scared of getting hurt, so he might be slow to make a move.
If you think he’s a guy that’s worth the wait, be a little patient.
And make sure you’re giving off your own signals that you’re into him. Because while in your head you might be gaga for him, you might not be showing that outwardly. So give us a few signs that you’re into us, ladies. It’ll boost our confidence and help us express our own interest better.
Need a little help sending smoke signals to attract the one? I know exactly what you need: to enroll in my Attract “The One” Academy. I’ll show you how to believe that you are the prize that he needs to seek, and help you build confidence to attract the right guy.