So you went on one date and think it went well, but you aren’t sure.
After all, you could have one great date and that guy calls, but you could have another great date with a different guy and…
I know. Guys can seem cryptic. But in fact, we’re really simple creatures if you know how to crack the code.
The First Question to Ask
Before you waste any more energy on the whole “is he into me” after the first date thing, I want you to stop and ask yourself one thing:
Are you into him?
See, a lot of times, we let our own feelings color what we read in others. So if you were totally into him on that first date, you might be a bit biased in what you read.
You get what I’m saying?
On the other hand, if you were only meh about this dude, then why bother wondering if he liked you? Will knowing he does change the meh factor? It shouldn’t. Stick with your gut feelings about this guy.
If you were into him, dissect his behavior to get insight into how he might feel.
If he didn’t check the boxes off of your list, move on. Other fish and all that.
During the Date
More than anything, your gut should tell you that things are going well. You shouldn’t constantly be wondering whether or not he’s into you while you’re digging into your ramen (slurp carefully).
Men that are into you look into your eyes. I’m not saying he should gaze longingly into your baby blues at this point (in fact, ew. That’s a bit creepy so early on), but he should make eye contact throughout the date. He should not be staring off at something (or someone) over your shoulder all night.
Unless he’s uber shy, your date should have made some effort to touch you. Nothing too forward; using that tattoo on your wrist as an excuse to touch your arm is on par with what you’re looking for here.
If, on the other hand, he’s creeping his hand up your thigh early in the date, he likely has his mind on one thing. Don’t try to make this Touchy-Feely Tim your white knight.
Pay attention to body language on your date, because it can speak volumes about what’s going on in that simple mind of his. If he leans toward you, he’s feelin’ it. If he folds his arms and leans back, looking uncomfortable, sorry hon, but he’s thinking of the zillion other places he’d rather be.
Here’s another clue he likes you: if he mirrors your body language, he’s totally into you. Say you cross your legs as you tell him a story about how you won Miss Toad Suck in high school (actual place!). If he crosses his legs right after you do, he — even subconsciously — is telling you he wants to be in sync with you.
Don’t believe me? On your next date, try crossing your legs or scratching your chin. See who mirrors back!
And I know women love it when guys pay attention and ask questions. I have to admit it (I’ve seen this time and again when I speak at colleges): not all guys are great at this. It’s definitely a skill to master, but let me tell you, Sexy Confident Lady: if your guy does this, you have scored in a major way.
Paying attention on a date requires him to listen, and if he’s not into you, he won’t put forth the energy.
On the other hand, if he realizes what a fabulous catch you are, he’s going to sit up and take notes when you talk. Why?
Because remembering details you feed him now will help him worm his way into your heart later.
Just imagine how he will impress you if you told him early in the date that you’re allergic to chocolate, then at the date’s end when the dessert menu rolls around, he says, “Why don’t we share the lemon tart, since you’re allergic to chocolate?”
Okay, maybe this won’t impress you into convulsions, but give the guy a break; he listened and retained. He likes you.
And asking questions? Such a great way to make a woman happy, in my experience. The women I know are naturally inquisitive, and yet they’ve told me that few men match them in the question-asking department. If he asks questions, he’s dying to know more about you. Let him!
Do you make your date laugh? Excellent!
Laughter isn’t a given between two people unless they have chemistry, so if you make him snort wine through his nose, so much the better.
All in all, if the date is filled with engaging conversation and good back-and-forth, you’re getting a thumbs up from this guy.
How Did the Date End?
You can also get some great intel on how he’s feeling based on how the date ended. Did he walk you to your car? It’s the least he could do, but still a good sign. Did he grab your hand? Excellent. Did he hug you (and linger)? Things keep getting better.
And…did he kiss you??
C’mon! You don’t need me to tell you he likes you!
Just note: not every guy will kiss on the first date. He may be unsure of whether you will be receptive to it, and under no circumstances will a man risk rejection if he’s not certain of your reaction. Just sayin’.
Assessing Post-Date Behavior
So he seemed to have passed the “is he into me” first date quiz, but it’s been 8-24 hours since said date and you’re getting a little nervous. Was it all a mirage? Was he actually not into you?
This isn’t going to be true of every guy, but if he texts — or better yet calls — within a day of your date, winner winner, chicken dinner. Like I said, not every guy, even if he’s totally into you, will do this. Some try to play the game and make you wait before reaching out. Games are dumb, but sometimes you gotta play. Just don’t text him. Wait patiently (or pretend to).
If you’d been communicating via an online dating app, but post-date he asks for your number, give it to him if you like him. It means he’s ready to shed the anonymity of first-name-only profiles and get real through texting and calls. Score.
And if he asks you out again, he’s into you.
You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to know if a guy is into you after one date. You just have to pay attention and watch for the signs that he is. And if he isn’t? He’s not worth your time. Cut bait and find the one who is.
Did this help? Did it help you assess your date to determine if he was into you on that first date?