So you’ve been dating your guy for a few weeks or months, and you’re feeling pretty good about things. You know he’s into you…and yet, you find yourself up at night wondering:
Is he in love with you?
It’s a scary thing to start to fall for someone and be unclear on whether the feeling is mutual. I’m willing to bet that you’ve been hurt in the past, and the last thing you want to do is make yourself vulnerable to this new guy if he doesn’t feel the same.
Sometimes the signs that he simply likes you a lot and that he loves you are similar, so it can be hard to tell the difference between the two. But if several of the following signs ring true, he just might be falling in lurrrv with you!
1. He’s Eager to Introduce You to His Friends (and Meet Yours)
There’s no hiding you for this man. He’s ready to show you off to his friends, and he lets you know it. While you may be nervous about meeting the people that are important to him, you absolutely should do so…if you’re falling for him.
If you care about this guy, it’s worth the effort to make a great impression with his buddies. Getting his friends’ approval of his new lady is important to him, and may be the one barrier before he professes his feelings for you.
Likewise, he wants to meet the people who matter to you. Consider who to introduce him to first (your BFF is always a good choice). Or, throw him to the sharks and invite him to a party of 30 of your closest friends. If he’s willing to do that? He is likely head over heels for you.
2. He Communicates His Feelings
Not everyone is great at sharing how they really feel, so don’t take this as the only way to know your boyfriend loves you. But if he’s quick to tell you he misses you, let you know if you’ve hurt his feelings, or tells you how special you are, you’ve got a real winner.
He may be nervous about baring his soul completely and saying those magical three words, so give him signs that you reciprocate his feelings, even if you’re not ready to say it either. Thank him or kiss him whenever he makes himself vulnerable to you. Not everyone is good at reading signs, so if you’re quiet, he may take it as a negative response to his communication.
The best response? Share how you’re feeling so he knows he’s not alone.
3. He Gives You Gifts
If you’re familiar with Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages, you know that one of the ways people express love is through giving or receiving gifts. If this is one of your love languages and your guy has picked up on that, he will go out of his way to give to you.
A “gift” doesn’t always come in a Tiffany box. Your man can also give you the gift of affection, reassuring you with his arm around your waist as you walk down the street, or the gift of attention, making eye contact with you and actively listening when you talk.
4. You Catch Him Gazing Lovingly
Sometimes it’s not what we say but what we do that speaks volumes. Your man may be shy about gushing his love to you, but you may find him looking at you in a new way after you’ve been together a while.
That might come as prolonged, emotional eye contact during sex.
You might catch him giving you puppy dog eyes when he thinks you aren’t looking.
Don’t ignore these actions. Reciprocate in kind. Yes, it can be intimidating to look your lover in the eye during lovemaking, but it will help forge a lasting bond. Let him know you adore him with your own looks. This can give him the confidence to express himself verbally.
5. It’s Not (Just) About the Sex
You might have red-hot things happening in the bedroom, but this guy has made it clear that he’s not looking for a bootie call from you. He takes you to dinner, on walks, even running errands. You’ve become part of his daily life, and that feels good.
Yea, it’s important too. But you feel fulfilled with him on all levels, beyond just the physical one.
6. He Prioritizes Spending Time With You
Even when he works until 10 pm all week when he’s on a deadline, he finds time to come see you.
Even when he’s got his weekly basketball game with the guys, he drops by afterward for a quick kiss.
Even when he’s got custody of his kids, he makes an effort to call you after they’ve gone to bed.
This guy is communicating that you are important, so listen up! Because you are. Once you’ve reached 40 or older, your life starts to have defined patterns. It becomes a bigger deal to change your schedule and habits, and the fact that he’s willing to do so — just for the honor of your company — should tell you he’s serious about you.
7. He Likes You As You Are
I’m sure you’ve gone out with guys that you thought, “If only he didn’t have a mullet/talk with his mouth full/let his mom make his bed every day, he’d be the perfect guy.”
Maybe with your current beau, you don’t find anything major enough to want to fix. (Kudos because: ya can’t fix or change another person!)
Maybe you’ve gone out with guys who hinted that you dressed too conservatively, or that you should be more into monster trucks.
But this guy?
This guy is all about who you are as an individual. He loves your flaws, like that high-pitched snore you make at night. Or how you order the sauce on the side, à la When Harry met Sally. This makes you feel completely confident and comfortable around him. Finally, you can let your hair down!
And that’s what you want in a relationship.
8. He Shows You You’re on His Mind
As soon as you think, “maybe I should text him and wish him good morning,” you see you’ve got a text from him.
He sends flowers for no reason.
He emails you articles he thinks you’ll enjoy.
All of these are ways this guy shows that he’s thinking about you. You’ve infiltrated his brain, and that’s one of the best signs that he loves you.
9. He Only Has Eyes for You
While with other men, you’ve been insecure about whether they want to date other people while they’re with you, your boyfriend has made it clear that he’s not interested in anyone else. He’s expressed a desire to dive into a long-term relationship with you.
And you know what goes perfectly with long-term relationships?
As long as the two of you are aligned on what you want and are compatible, love is likely to follow. Give it time and be sure of your own feelings, then keep your eye out for signs like these that he loves you.
On the Other Hand…Signs That He Isn’t In Love With You
It can be easy to misconstrue signs in favor of what you want (his love), so pay attention to any of these warning signs that not only does he not love you, but he’s probably not a good fit for you, period.
If he’s often unavailable to talk or spend time with you, and doesn’t tell you what he’s doing, you need to question that. He could be hiding another relationship or doing something else you wouldn’t approve of.
If he criticizes you, do not put up with this! You are a sexy, confident lady who deserves a man who will adore you. He’s out there. Trust.
When you think about your relationship, does sex take up the majority of it? Can you think of the last time he took you to dinner? Maybe things only seem good when you’re in bed. In this case, you may want different things from the relationship than he does.
If you feel like you give more than he does, this is not the guy for you. The One is going to want to give you the world, and you’ll feel the same.
Be patient. You will find him. But trying to force your current boyfriend into the Magical One You’re Supposed to Be With won’t work if he’s not destined for you.
What signs is your guy throwing that make you think he might love you?