Have you ever been dating a guy and things are going really, really well…
But then suddenly your heart is telling you to run?
Your head tries to tell you that things are going well, but for whatever reason, you pull into your turtle shell and hide.
It’s not rational, and you probably realize this. But something else to be aware of: this might end up pushing him away.
While I often say you need to pay attention to what your heart tells you, in this case, your heart might be voicing your insecurities, and that’s something to look out for.
I want to help you keep from pushing him away, so we’ll look at how you can separate intuition from insecurity so you know what the heck to listen to!
You might not even realize that you’re insecure, and you might be confident in other areas of your life. But do any of these ring true for you?
The Negativity Snowball Effect: One small negative thing in your mind snowballs into a giant thing that has you believing a perfectly good guy is a jerk. It’s important to identify these thoughts before they get big, and realize that you—not reality—are enhancing them.
The Ex Comparison: Do you find yourself looking at your boyfriend’s social media page to see what his ex-girlfriends look like? Do you compare yourself and feel like you come up short? Stop that! He’s not with those women for a reason. He’s with you.
Thinking He’s Too Good to Be True: He brings you flowers. You think he’s being cheesy. He says something romantic. You think he’s just trying to get you in bed. If you’ve only dated insincere men in the past, it may be hard for you to accept that this man is genuine.
The Proximity Insecurity: If you’ve been cheated on, you may worry with this guy that if you’re not with him, he’s cheating. It’s all about control, and you need to let go of your need for it or you’ll find yourself pushing him away.
Trying to Make Him Really Jealous: If you find yourself posting photos of you hanging out with hot men and having fun on social media to make a man jealous, this is because you are insecure. It won’t work, by the way.
Fake Confidence: If you make a big show of how you don’t need a man, how you’re fine on your own, ask yourself why you need to make this point. It’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s good, even.
The Analysis Paralysis: Do you overanalyze everything this guy says? That’s your insecurity talking. Try to take things at face value. If they eat at you, let them go.
I hope you’re better able to acknowledge when your insecurities are talking and have learned not to listen to them!
P.S. Insecurity is just one reason why men pull away. In my webinar, Why Men Pull Away, I share other reasons as well as what you can do to keep this from happening.