So you’ve met a man you are drawn to, but you’re not sure how he feels about you. You’re looking for signs a man is attracted to you sexually to figure out if this guy has the hots for you.
Let me just save you the trouble: he does!
No, seriously, I understand that you want empirical evidence that he is secretly attracted to you because then you’ll know how to act around him. Am I right? Well, I’m going to give you 20 signs a man is attracted to you sexually so there’s no doubt in your mind that he is!
Why Sexual Attraction Matters
You know I like to nerd out sometimes on science, and for good reason! It explains so much about dating and attraction. When you consider why sexual attraction matters, you’ve got to go back eons: we’ve always been attracted to people who seem like, genetically, they’d help us create strong and healthy offspring.
While you may not be interested in reproducing with the guy you’re chatting up in the bar, you still will be sexually attracted to him, thanks to your genetics.
You Don’t Have to Be a Supermodel for Strong Physical Attraction
Many of the thousands of women I’ve coached on dating and relationships have told me, “Adam, I’m not pretty enough to attract a hot guy.”
I always tell them: it’s not about you being a supermodel. It really isn’t. It’s about finding someone you’re physically and sexually compatible with. Let’s look at science to explain.
There’s this concept called associative mating that says that people choose mates (or are attracted to) people with “correlated attractiveness levels,” according to University of California, Davis psychology professor Paul Eastwick.
So while you’re making eyes at the guy who’s just a tiny bit overweight and balding, don’t assume he’s going for the twiggy angel in the corner. He’s more than likely into you, if you just pay attention to those signs a man is attracted to you sexually.
Sexual attraction, actually, is as much about your personality as anything else. Think about it: have you ever met a man who was unbelievably gorgeous and maybe you were physically attracted to him from a distance, but once he started talking and you realized that his head was completely empty, that attraction disappeared?
Or maybe you met a guy you weren’t attracted to off the bat, who, after making you laugh so hard you peed, you found yourself drawn to physically?
It just goes to show that there are a million factors that go into sexual attraction.
20 Signs a Man is Attracted To You Sexually
Now let’s look at those signs a man is attracted to you sexually! Keep in mind that the man you’re interested in may exhibit some of these signs of attraction…or others. Everyone has different “tells!”
1. He Stays Really Close to You
“That’s so interesting,” he rumbles, “Tell me more.”
He’s standing just inches away from you when he says this and is just this side of being a Close Talker. Still, you like him being in your orbit.
A man who’s not attracted to you sexually will create distance between you two, and he may cross his arms or display other body language that communicates “not interested.”
But this man can’t seem to get enough of you! Take it as a good sign.
2. He Sits With His Legs Spread
This is an interesting sign a man is attracted to you sexually because what it communicates is his manhood. Studies show that men want to establish their dominance, especially around the ladies, and may sit or stand with their legs apart. Think about what’s between those legs, and it’s no wonder he’s posturing!
A confident man may even be hoping you’ll peek at what’s happening between those legs. It’s completely up to you whether you take the bait or not.
3. He Blushes
Okay, so not every guy is an over-confident bro who’s showing off his junk like a peacock. Some guys, particularly the shy and awkward ones, may simply blush when they’re around you. Maybe he feels like you can read his thoughts, and is embarrassed at the idea.
If you’re into the silent and shy type, look for less subtle signs a man is attracted to you sexually, because you might miss these hidden clues if you’re not paying attention.
4. He Touches You Often
Now, I’m not talking a pervy ass-grab here. A man who wants you will find any excuse to touch you. He might lie and say there’s an eyelash stuck to your cheek so he can “get it” with his fingers.
He might graze your back with his palm when holding the door open for you.
He might “accidentally” bump your knee with his…and then leave it there.
Again, if this guy wasn’t into you, he’d go out of his way not to touch you.
5. He Makes Great Eye Contact
You can’t remember any guy ever making such dedicated eye contact with you! Eyes communicate a lot, so pay attention to how often his lock with yours.
If you start to feel awkward at the prolonged gaze, have a little fun. Raise your eyebrow or even wink at him, and see what his reaction is.
6. He Notices Other Men Checking You Out
Men are territorial, and whether this guy is looking just for a little fun tonight or something more long-term, he isn’t going to like it if someone encroaches on what he has staked out as his (that would be you). He will be hypersensitive to any man in the room checking you out.
He might point it out to see what your reaction is. Naturally, he wants reassurance that you only have eyes for him.
7. He Talks in a Deeper Voice When You Are Near Him
You swear this guy’s voice is normally a pitch or two higher, but whenever you’re around him, he pulls out the Barry White. Once again, science explains this. A deeper voice can indicate a good partner for producing genetically healthier children, and a man with a deep voice should live longer.
Be warned, though: studies indicate that deep-voiced men may be more prone to cheating and otherwise be untrustworthy.
8. He Flirts Hard
One of the signs a man is attracted to you sexually is that he steps up his flirting game. He wants you to know, in no uncertain terms, that you have captivated him. If his interest is more physical than emotional, his flirting may lean more toward physical flirting than any other type (did you realize there were different types of flirts?). He may gently pull a curl and tease you about your hair.
He may give you some cheesy pickup line like, “Are you tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all night!”
He’ll find any way he can to let you know he finds you irresistible. Enjoy it!
9. He’ll Smile a Ton
You know that when a guy smiles at you a lot, he’s interested. It’s as if he knows that 71% of women list a nice smile as their most desired physical trait in a man. But more than that, it’s how he smiles at you.
Does he give you a G-rated Boy Next Door Smile…
Or an I’m-Imagining-You-With-Your-Clothes-Off Smile?
There’s a big difference between the two, as you can imagine.
10. He Stares at Some Very Inappropriate Places on Your Body
C’mon. Every woman has noticed a man staring not-so-subtly at her cleavage…or her butt. I’m sorry, but we’re not known for our subtleties! Plus, sometimes a guy wants to give off obvious signs a man is attracted to you sexually so he knows that you know.
If you’re fine with this kind of attention, lean forward if he’s staring at your chest. You could say something flirty like:
“See anything you like?”
“Hey, eyes up here, buddy.”
If you get up to go to the bathroom on a date, turn around to see if he’s checking you out from behind. If he is, you know he’s lusting after what you have to offer.
11. He Finds Excuses to Smell You
Okay, there’s definitely a subtle way to do this and then there’s the guy who leans over and deeply inhales your neck or hair. Either way, be flattered (or run): scent plays a big part in sexual attraction. While scientists are still trying to get to the bottom of this fascinating fact, the pheromones you’re putting off can make a man crazy.
While your own natural scent will do its job, enhance it with a perfume that you think makes you smell even more fab.
12. He…Um…Adjusts Himself When Near You
A man who is sexually attracted to you may…erm…rise to the occasion without meaning to, even in public. So if you notice him shifting his pants around, sitting down suddenly, or covering up his package with something to hide what’s happening, you know you’ve found one of the signs a man is attracted to you sexually.
13. He Touches His Chin a Lot
I’m not really sure why men do this…but it’s definitely one of the signs a man is attracted to you sexually. If he’s got facial hair, he may be making sure nothing’s out of place with a little unconscious grooming. It may also be a nervous tick.
Pay attention the next time you’re around him and see how often his hand wanders to his face.
14. Your Conversations are Drawn Out
You: “Excuse me, could you pass me the napkins please?”
Him: “Sure. Oh, hey. Napkins. Yes. Here they are. They’re nice, don’t you think? I like thick paper napkins…”
If he’s finding an excuse to linger and talk to you more, he’s into you. This applies whether it’s a guy you’ve never even met (like in the napkin example) or a guy who can’t seem to let you go at the end of a date. In the latter case, he may be hoping you’ll invite him in.
15. He Fidgets with Things
On your date, he plays with the ice in his glass. The fringe on your purse. The coaster. You think it’s a sign that he’s completely bored, but in fact, the opposite is true. It actually is an indicator that he’s physically drawn to you and is nervous fidgeting as a result.
16. He Takes a Deep Breath When He Sees You
You know how peacocks puff out their chests and then shake their tailfeathers? Well, this guy may not have tailfeathers to shake, but he can puff out his chest in a subconscious way to make you more attracted to him. All he has to do is take a deep breath. Instant upper body showcase.
17. He Hints That He Wants You
Some guys are less subtle when it comes to demonstrating signs a man is attracted to you sexually. He may drop rather large hints. Let’s say you’re texting and he asks what you’re doing. You tell him you just got out of the shower. His reply?
“Mm. Now you’re making me jealous.”
Or you tell him you’re going to bed, and he says:
“Great. I’ll be right over.”
He’s using the element of humor to test the waters and see what your reaction is. You can shut him down by diverting the conversation, but if you want to reciprocate, play along.
18. He Tries to Make Plans That Don’t Involve Going Out
So you’ve gone out a few times, and maybe you’ve kissed on the last few dates, but nothing further. Now, instead of planning another dinner and drinks date, he’s inviting you over to binge watch Stranger Things. Get a clue! If you come over, no more than 15 minutes of the first episode will be watched.
Either that or he makes the classic “wanna come over to my house for a nightcap?” move. Who has nightcaps? People who plan to have sex, that’s who!
19. He Licks His Lips a Lot
Another way a man shows you he is secretly attracted to you is in how often he licks his lips. He may be priming them for a passionate kiss with you…or thinking about what else he’d like to do with those lips.
20. You Feel it
The truth is, you don’t need a roadmap to identify signs a man is attracted to you sexually. There’s a sort of electric energy that happens when two people have chemistry, so trust your gut on this one. I guarantee you’re not wrong.
Now that you know this guy wants you, the question is: what are you going to do about it? If you’re also attracted to him physically but aren’t ready to have sex, draw out the anticipation. Let him know through your own signals that you’re receptive to his advances, but let him know that you want to roll slow. Anticipation is half the fun!
The important thing is feeling safe and not rushed when it comes to having sex with a man. Do so on your terms, not his. And remember; if you want this to turn into something meaningful, it may do you good to wait to have sex.
So talk to me. What signs a man is attracted to you sexually have you noticed? Share them in the comments below.
There’s nothing more sexually attractive than a confident woman. Download the Men Love Confident Women ebook to learn exactly what men want from you.