You’ve been dating this man for a while, and you admit: you’re falling for him. But is this infatuation or something more serious? You’re looking for signs that he’s your soulmate to understand if your search for Mr. Right is over.
I get that you want hard evidence that this man is meant for you. After all, you’ve been through a lot at this point in your life. Maybe you’re divorced. Maybe you’re a single mom. Maybe you’ve kissed so many frogs that you’ve just about given up the idea that there’s someone out there that’s perfect for you.
Then this guy comes along…
…and suddenly all the pain and heartbreak you’ve been through seems like it might have all been worth it. But can you be sure? Not to worry, sexy, single lady. We’re going to walk through soulmate signs so you can figure out if this is the relationship you were meant to have.
What is a Soulmate?
Experts have a few opinions on where the term and concept of a soulmate came from. Many attribute it to Greek myth, saying that, at one point, men and women were united, but out of jealousy, the god Zeus split them apart, and now we spend our lives looking for our matches.
The poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge wrote in a letter in the early 1800s: “To be happy in Married Life … you must have a Soul-mate.”
Google “what is a soulmate,” and you’ll get dozens of answers. I believe that the definition has to be a personal one. For me, I can boil down what a soulmate is into a simple formula:
best friend + attraction = soulmate
Yes, you may have a female best friend or two, but your true soulmate is someone you can’t imagine your life without…plus you’re incredibly attracted to him. And that attraction turns into a deep love that never fades.
But that’s just my definition. You might have your own, so as you read this article, consider what the term “soulmate” means to you.
Are Soulmates a Real Thing?
So maybe you’re of the skeptical school of love and think the idea of having a soulmate is balderdash. You might be surprised to hear that you’re in the minority on that: about 66% of Americans believe in the concept of soulmates. Of course, science can’t prove that soulmates are a tangible thing, so you’ll have to decide whether to put stock into the idea or not.
I personally don’t believe that there’s only one person out there for you, but I do believe that when you meet the right person, it truly feels like they are touching your soul.
In the long run, it doesn’t matter if you believe in soulmates or not. If you find someone who you love, and who returns that love equally, isn’t that what’s important?
Difference Between a Soulmate and Everyone Else
Whatever your definition is, the person who is your soulmate will be unlike anyone you’ve ever known. Once you find your soulmate, you will look back on every past relationship and realize that it paled in comparison to this one.
You’ve probably experienced lust for someone at some point. Lust is driven primarily by sexual desire. While you will be hot for your soulmate, it’s more than lust. It’s an intimate emotional and physical connection that you don’t get with a hookup.
It can be confusing to know if someone is your soulmate if you believe you love them. It’s a fact: you can love someone without them being your soulmate. You’ll only realize later that, while you loved your ex, it wasn’t as deep as a soulmate relationship. The connection goes deeper with a soulmate, and sometimes you can’t know that a past relationship wasn’t with a soulmate until you truly find the right person for you.
Here are 27 Soulmate Signs to Watch for in a Relationship
1. The Love Doesn’t Dwindle After the Infatuation Stage
I’ve written before about the different stages of a relationship. The first one is Attraction and Romance, or, Infatuation. This stage feels awesome…but it’s superficial. You don’t know the man you’re dating well enough to know whether he’s exhibiting soulmate signs yet…and there’s a good chance that infatuation will wear off and you’ll start to be annoyed by his flaws more.
But when you’re with your soulmate, you feel this silly, goofy, fiery passion and love for him long past the infatuation. You go through the other stages, where you struggle to find your footing in the relationship, and then really establish your long-term partnership…and that love is still going strong.
2. You Feel Like You’ve Known Him Forever
Without getting too woo-woo on you, let me say that some people believe that your soulmate is someone you knew and loved in a past life. It’s a beautiful concept, isn’t it? To imagine that you keep finding and falling in love with the same amazing person in life after life?
Not buying into it? Oh well…me neither.
Regardless of your take on past lives, you just feel like you know this guy, even if you’ve only been with him a few months. He feels familiar in a way that no other man ever has. And you like that feeling.
3. You Trust Him
Part of feeling like you know someone well is also trusting him. This may surprise you, especially if you believed you had trust issues because of past heartbreak. But because this man feels so familiar, you find it easier to be vulnerable and open with him, and that is a great foundation for a long and fantastic relationship.
I know at the start of a relationship, you can often feel wobbly and afraid that things won’t work out, especially if your last few (or dozen) attempts at love didn’t pan out. But with this man, you just trust that it’s going to work out. And that feels pretty damn great, doesn’t it?
4. You Finish Each Other’s Sentences
Maybe you get on your friends’ nerves with how you finish each other’s sentences. Who cares? It’s your soulmate!
When you know each other so well (even if it’s been a short time), it can feel like magic to know what he’s going to say before he says it…and vice versa.
You also probably have lots of little inside jokes that no one else gets or thinks are funny. That’s part of knowing one another inside and out!
5. You “Get” Him Like No One Else
This guy just makes sense to you. It might be his OCD way of getting ready for bed that you understand is necessary for a good night’s sleep…or why he hates spiders. Whatever the “thing,” you get it. You accept his quirks and personality traits as part and parcel of who he is.
Others may question the things he does, or write them off as silly, but you’re quick to defend him, knowing that there’s a reason for everything he does. He doesn’t even need to explain it to you because you understand.
6. You Can Read Him Without Words
He walks through the door after work, and instantly, without a word needed, you know what kind of mood he’s in and what he wants. Maybe you sense that he’s had a hard day and needs some alone time. You give him a quick peck on the cheek, tell him you just bought some beer, and head to another room so he can be alone.
At the same time, he can read you, too! That means you can never keep things from this man. He’ll read in your face that you’re hiding something. That’s why soulmate relationships are so strong: they don’t keep secrets (they can’t!). It may take some getting used to, having someone know what mood you’re in without saying a word, but you’ll grow to love the feeling.
7. Your Intense Feelings Last
While sure, even soulmates go through infatuation, one of the soulmate signs is that those intense feelings of love don’t vanish. Even after you’ve moved in together, fought over the laundry, and seen him at his most un-flattering, you still fiercely love this man. You understand that a soulmate relationship means good and bad, and the negative times don’t dampen the feelings that you have for him.
8. You Have Incredible Chemistry
You’ve had chemistry with men before, but nothing like this. I’m guessing you primarily had physical chemistry, but did you realize there are two other types that are essential for the perfect chemical equation?
Physical chemistry is easy. It happens when you are attracted to someone and find it hard to stay away. It may lead to sex…and doesn’t guarantee that it will lead to anything more.
But when you add in intellectual and spiritual chemistry, two other soulmate signs, you’re looking at soulmate material.
Intellectual chemistry happens when the conversation just flows. If you’ve dabbled in online dating, you know that doesn’t always happen. You might swipe right on a man’s profile whom you find physically attractive…but then the conversation, which consists of a lot of “hey, what’s up?” and “how was your day,” just falls flat.
But with your soulmate, you find it easy to talk about any and everything. You find yourself staying up late to talk on the phone or shut down the restaurant because you’ve stayed past closing time.
Spiritual chemistry is a little harder to define. Saba May, says, “It goes beyond opinions and beliefs – although they can be part of it. Spiritual chemistry is when you see life through a similar existential lens; your hearts are at home because you value the same things: kindness, generosity, loyalty, friendship.”
When you find the unique combination of all three of these types of chemistry, you know you’ve found something special.
9. You Love Him Unconditionally
He’s made mistakes. He has flaws. He even gets on your nerves sometimes…
But you still 1,000% love him.
It’s easier to say what unconditional love isn’t than what it is. It’s not love based on parameters like “I’ll love him when he finally gets a job” or “if he’d stop going out with the guys so much, I’d be happier and love him more.”
No matter what he does or how he acts, you accept that as part of the relationship and your love. And he does the same for you.
10. You Feel Safer Than You Ever Have
If you’ve been single for a while after a messy divorce or breakup, you may have had to create your own cocoon of safety since you could no longer rely on a relationship for that security. So it may feel strange to you to have a man in your life that totally envelops you (physically and emotionally) and essentially says, “it’s okay. You can lean on me. You’re safe.”
For most women, this is a relief. If you’ve been running your household and/or raising kids, you’ve been completely independent. No, you don’t need a man, but it is nice to have a partner that you can lean on when you need him…and you can return the favor when he needs it.
11. He Knows You Better Than You Know Yourself
You like to think you have a poker face, but he sees right through you. You’re shocked at how well he sees you and knows you, and you’re glad for the advice he gives you. That’s what the people who are close to you do, right? See you for who you are and guide you to better decisions.
12. He Challenges You (in a Good Way)
Finding your soulmate is fabulous, but don’t expect that life will be all cupcakes and kitties as a result. Because he knows you better than you know yourself, he’s never going to let you half-ass anything in life. And you will be glad when he pushes you to work harder.
Let’s say you’re complaining about your job a lot. He tells you to find a new one. All you wanted to do was complain (for the rest of your life?) but you realize that he’s pushing you to make a change to be happier. And you’re glad for the motivation.
13. You Have Many of the Same Values
You and your soulmate probably aren’t identical in your interests (that would be so boring!), but you are aligned in important values. What kind of values?
- How you see the world
- Possibly politics
- Whether you want children or not
- Whether you want to be (re)married or not
These are intangibles that are more important to share than specifics like playing tennis or liking Game of Thrones. These are values that likely won’t change over time, so if you’re aligned in them, it’s a great start to your relationship, and one of the soulmate signs to watch out for.
14. You Act as a Team
Look, I know you’re not some Disney princess waiting to be saved by Prince Charming. And that’s not what finding your soulmate is about. It’s really about finding a teammate. A partner who will share his load in your relationship.
Sometimes things will be unbalanced. If you’re working overtime and are stressed to the gills, he’ll need to pick up the slack around the house and provide you with emotional support. But if his grandmother dies, you’ll be in the role of supporter and nurturer. Over time, however, it balances out.
15. You’re Secure in the Relationship
Looking back at past relationships, did you worry a few weeks or months in that things were going to fall apart? History told you they would, right? So you tiptoed around, avoiding arguments or situations that might rock the boat.
Then what happened?
It ended anyway. Because those relationships weren’t meant to be. You hadn’t met your soulmate yet.
So now that you’ve found him, you’re surprised that you’re not worried about things ending. You feel secure that this is the relationship you’ve been waiting for, and that, my dear, is one of the soulmate signs.
16. The Story of How You Met is Special (to you)
Every soulmate meeting story I’ve heard has been awe-inspiring. Some people I know knew their soulmates long before they became a couple…and it took them years to see what was in front of them! (Cute Harry and Sally!)
No matter what your meet-cute story is, even if you met through an app, you will never forget it…or the sparks that it induced.
17. Now You GET What Love is Supposed to Be
When you were 9, you knew you found your one true love…
…when you were 16, you knew THEN that this boy was the one…
…when you were 21, you realized, no, THIS is what love is all about.
But after your divorce or breakup, you started doubting love altogether. But here is your soulmate, and it feels completely different from any love or infatuation you’ve ever felt. It all makes sense now.
18. He Makes You Want to Be a Better Version of You
Allow me to go a little Oprah on you for a minute with these soulmate signs. The right people in our lives make us want to be better. Do better. There’s nothing wrong with working to improve ourselves and our lives.
And let me clarify here: you’re not trying to improve because he’s criticizing you and telling you your flaws. He just inspires you. Maybe he runs marathons and you’re a couch potato, but he inspired you to start jogging and try your first 5k (with him by your side).
19. You Realize Past Relationships Were Just Infatuations
Now, just because you’ve found your soulmate doesn’t mean that you never loved any of the men you were in relationships with, but you may be able to see more clearly that at least some of them were infatuations. You can’t know what you don’t know, and if at the time, infatuation felt like love, you had no point of reference to tell you otherwise. Now you do.
20. You Can Completely Be Yourself
It can be scary letting your hair down early in a relationship, for fear that you’ll be judged for your own quirkiness. But with a soulmate, you never have to worry about that.
Some people find that they lose their sense of identity in a relationship, and that can be detrimental to that relationship. There’s a psychological concept called differentiation that I want you to know about. It refers to finding a balance between connecting with your partner and maintaining your separate sense of self.
When this is out of whack, you may keep quiet about issues that bother you, for fear of starting an argument. Or you might put his needs ahead of yours. When you’re in a relationship with your soulmate, this isn’t an issue because, while you’re close, it’s easy for both of you to be independent individuals without becoming absorbed into the “we.”
21. You Just KNOW
Don’t you hate it when you used to ask a girlfriend how she knew her man was The One and she said, with a dreamy, far-off look in her eyes, “I just KNEW!”
Now you get it, right?
You can’t quantify why you believe this man is your soulmate, but you feel it in your bones. Trust your instinct!
22. You’re Both Willing to Work Through Rough Patches
When you were in your 20s, you’d break up with a guy at the first sign of stormy weather. But you’re older and wiser now, and this relationship is worth a few bumps in the road. Neither of you is afraid to work through issues. You know they’re part of a long life together, and you’re willing to put in the effort.
23. You Want to Make One Another Happy
Another one of the soulmate signs is happiness. One day, you agree to go to his favorite Mexican restaurant (even though you’re not a fan), and the next, he skips the game to hang out with you. A soulmate relationship is about positive compromise, where you both work to make the other happy. It’s never, ever one-sided.
24. You Aren’t Jealous
Maybe in past relationships, you found yourself a little jealous if your man spent time with other women, or even his guy friends, but you’re so confident in this relationship, that the green-eyed monster is nowhere to be found.
25. You’re Not Afraid to Speak Your Mind
Because you know you’re both in it for the long haul, you are relaxed enough to tell him what’s on your mind, even if he is likely to disagree. You trust him and the relationship enough to know that it won’t destroy things to be honest. In fact, it will make them better.
26. You Truly Listen to One Another
You’ve struggled with active listening in the past, but you find it easy to do with your soulmate. You give him your undivided attention because he gives you his when you’re talking. The result? You both hear and understand one another.
27. You’re Happy Doing Nothing With Him
You could be reading a book on opposite ends of the couch, and you’d still feel like you were spending quality time with him. Your days of constantly needing stimulation every week have come to an end…though you still make time to dress up for one another for date nights every few weeks.
I’m guessing by now that you’re excited that your relationship exhibits so many of these soulmate signs, and you’re thrilled to realize all the time you’ve spent seeking the right man for you have come to an end.
Congratulations! You’re lucky in love.
Which of these soulmate signs spoke to you the loudest? Share in the comments below.
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