After the experiences you’ve had in dating, you’ve walled yourself up in a protective shell before this guy came along. You haven’t found being vulnerable to be easy.
But this guy has proven that he can be trusted, and you’re ready to break down that shell…but how?
Start by coming up with sweet things to say to your boyfriend. I guarantee: he’ll love it and your relationship will blossom.
The Power of Words
We all speak different love languages. You may think you’re communicating your feelings by doing nice things for him, but if Words of Affirmation is his love language (rather than Acts of Service), you need to change the channel.
Words have power. They can help—or hurt—your relationship, so be careful choosing what you say.
In the 1970s, Dr. John Gottman and Robert Levenson conducted a study to predict which couples would stay together and which wouldn’t. The results showed that the difference between a happy couple and an unhappy one is how many positive and negative interactions they had. The researchers found that the “magic ratio” was 5 to 1, meaning that for every negative interaction during a conflict, having five (or more) positive interactions could increase the likelihood of a relationship working out.
Likely, you’re already thinking nice things about your boyfriend, so don’t keep those thoughts trapped in your head! Share them so he knows how you feel.
Coming up with sweet things to say to your boyfriend can also help you reinforce behavior that you like. Instead of hounding him to wash the dishes, telling him that you appreciate that he did them can encourage him to keep washing those dishes!
Sweet Things to Say to Your Boyfriend
Who doesn’t love a compliment? If you like getting them from your boyfriend, make sure you’re reciprocating by giving your own positive comments.
1. Show Appreciation When He Does Something Nice
Your man might often do nice things for you, but think back on how often you make a big deal about it. Sure, saying thank you is a basic way of showing appreciation, but make sure you’re also communicating your gratitude fully. Not only will that make him feel good, but like I said earlier, it will also encourage him to keep doing those nice things!
Let’s say you’ve been sick with the flu all week and your boyfriend went grocery shopping for you and made you chicken noodle soup. Aww! Rather than just muttering, “thanks, babe,” and rolling back over to sleep, make the extra effort:
“I really appreciate you taking care of me. It makes me realize how much I rely on you and how much you make my life better. Thank you so much!”
2. Compliment Him When He Dresses Up
The longer you’re together, the less you see one another. When you first started dating, the scent of his fancy cologne or the sight of him wearing a button-down shirt set your heart aflutter, but now you just take it for granted…or criticize him for wearing the wrong tie to a family dinner.
Instead, make an effort to see him clearly when he puts energy into looking nice.
“Damn, boy! A new haircut AND new shirt? I feel so special that you got all sexy for me!”
3. Tell Him When You’re Thinking of Him
I’m willing to bet that you don’t tell your boyfriend every time you’re thinking of him. Not even close.
But one great way to be more vulnerable and come up with sweet things to say to your boyfriend is to simply tell him what’s on your mind. Whether it happens when you see a Facebook memory of the two of you together in your feed or you’re just excited to veg out with him on the couch after work, let him know. He’ll be glad to hear it.
“I am counting down the days ’til our vacation! I can’t wait to have you all to myself in Hawaii this weekend!”
4. Cheer Him on Before a Big Event at Work
The couples I know who are rock solid really support one another. They are one another’s biggest cheerleaders. Naturally, at this point in your lives, your careers are going to be pretty important. So make sure you’re supportive of what he’s got going on at work.
“Knock ’em dead with that presentation today! You’ve put so much work into it, and I know your boss will be wowed.”
5. Thank Him for Big and Small Things
I think for most of us, saying thank you is pretty ingrained, especially for bigger things. But when you’ve been in a relationship for a while, sometimes it gets forgotten for the smaller, seemingly insignificant things.
Maybe you have come to expect him to bring you coffee in bed…
…or rub your feet after a long day…
…or cut your cat’s claws.
While he’s happy to do these favors for you, he also wouldn’t mind if you showed appreciation for them.
“I don’t have a single friend who has a guy who cooks her dinner as often as you do for me. Thank you. I truly appreciate it.”
6. Tell Him How Important He Is To You
Maybe you thank him for things big and small, but you don’t often open up your heart to share your feelings. Maybe that’s because you’re the Anxious-Avoidant attachment type and you find it hard to express your feelings.
Let me ask you a question:
Do you love him?
Then he’s worth being a little uncomfortable for. Get out of your comfort zone and tell that man what he means to you! Trust me: you will make him feel incredible if you do, and your relationship will thrive as a result.
“It’s sometimes hard for me to open up about my feelings, but I want you to know that having you in my life has been the best thing that has happened to me.”
7. Compliment Him in Bed
Not all of the sweet things to say to your boyfriend have to be emotionally deep. Take sex as an example. If you feel amazing after a romp in the bed, why not tell him? You’ll boost his confidence. And if you want him to do something specific, this is a great way to get him to.
“OMG. That was freakin’ amazing. That thing you did with your fingers? I want more of that next time!”
8. Tell Him You Love Him
As the last of the sweet things to say to your boyfriend, let’s keep it incredibly simple. Instead of trying to come up with some creative compliment every day, simply say…
“I love you.”
It’s a tiny sentence that packs a powerful punch.
Coming up with sweet things to say to your boyfriend isn’t all that complicated, but it does require effort. As does a relationship. The longer you are together, the more you will have to deliberately work to ensure that your partner knows how much you appreciate and care for him.
Talk to us in the comments below: how do you let your boyfriend know how much he means to you?
Take these compliments to the next level with my Love Texting Report and get texts you can copy and paste to create a digital spark with your guy!